Valentine’s Day advice
The day of the year that some people loathe and others adore! Valentine’s Day may well be overhyped and anticlimactic at times, but it is still a great opportunity to show your other half what they mean to you, or to get a foot in the dating scene if you are single.
This article will share a few ideas for February 14th, whether you are single, in a monogamous relationship, or anywhere in between…
Valentine’s Day if you are single:
A lot of single people try to ignore or steer clear of Valentine’s Day altogether but it is actually one of the best days of the year to meet people of the opposite sex.
The last Valentine’s Day that I was single I went to a bar with a few male friends and it was the easiest night to meet women ever! It is reasonable to assume that anyone who is not with someone of the opposite sex is single and you can therefore be far more direct with your approach.
Obviously it depends on your personality and the type of venue you attend but I had a lot of success with role-plays revolving around Valentine’s Day. Things such as approaching a group of females and acting offended that you didn’t receive a card and flowers from them, or simply going up and saying “Happy Valentine’s Day” in a cheeky way will both open up fun conversations.
Although Valentine’s Day falls on a different day of the week each year, there will still be groups of singles heading out to have fun on what can otherwise be a rather depressing day. If this kind of proactive approach seems scary then there are many organised singles events during Valentine’s weekend in major cities. Check out what is on in your area and get involved!
One other fun thing that I just remembered was a few years ago on Valentine’s Day when I sent every female in my phone a text message: “Thanks for the flowers ‘secret admirer’ ;)”. The responses I got were hilarious and started up conversations with women who I might have otherwise lost contact with. Give it a try and let me know what responses you get.
Valentine’s Day if you are in a relationship:
I adhere to the advice that you shouldn’t need a special occasion to dote on your partner or give gifts and surprises. I enjoy doing thoughtful things to express my feelings for Heidi throughout the year.
Having said that, Valentine’s Day has become a modern day litmus test for love, so unless you and your partner have specifically agreed not to make a fuss of the occasion – and make sure that the feelings really are mutual if so – then make the effort to be creative.
Cliché gifts such as flowers and chocolates, although still delivering a message, do not have the same level of thought to them as other gestures. Do something that makes your partner feel special! This doesn’t have to be anything expensive. Use your imagination for something fun that you can do TOGETHER. Think along the lines of romantic, sexual, thoughtful and possibly homemade.
I have a wealth of ideas myself and already have some wonderful things planned for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately Heidi will probably read this, so to preserve the surprise element you will have to contact me personally if you would like to know some of those ideas.
One thing I did in the first few years of our relationship was book a special meal out for the two of us. Although that is not a particularly original idea itself, I presented it in a fun and original way, which you can see in pictorial form here.
Another year I wrote a humorous yet romantic poem on burnt, coffee-stained paper and cooked Heidi a special Valentines themed meal.
There are hundreds of different things you can do that don’t have to involve the commercial side of Valentine’s Day but still make your partner feel special and loved, so start making a list of things you can do to surprise your other half as soon as possible!
Valentine’s Day if you are casually seeing one or more than one person:
The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it forces men and women to reveal their true intentions. If you are just starting out in a new relationship, or you are casually seeing someone, it can make things slightly tricky.
I have previously discussed how to frame certain aspects of a relationship, mainly regarding commitment and attitudes. With Valentine’s Day, it is easy to make your intentions seem ambiguous or insincere by the way that you act on February 14th.
Be careful that you are giving the right kind of message by how you act around this time. If you don’t want to make someone think they are your exclusive girlfriend or boyfriend for example, then don’t go over the top doing girlfriend and boyfriend type stuff.
There is obviously a vast spectrum of how serious a relationship can be, so think carefully about where you want the relationship to go before deciding what you do or do not do on Valentine’s Day.
I hope everyone has a really fun day whatever you are planning and if you have any ideas or thoughts of your own then please feel free to share them. 🙂
I’d totally forgotten bout valentines day until the other day when I walked in to a card shop and the amount of valentines crap was ridic!!
I’ve probably had about the same amount of valentines days with a girlfriend as being single and I much prefer the ones being single as there is no pressure or expectation.
I’m prob gonna get some friends together and go out somewhere on the saturday night and use some of the stuff you mentioned. I thought that text was hilarious, mind if I steal that?
Hope everyone has a blinding day cheers.
Yes I know the shops like to milk Valentine’s Day for all it is worth and that’s what I meant about avoiding the commercial side unless you’re really into that stuff.
That’s a fair point about the pressure and expectation. A common thing I like to do is underplay my intentions so that a lot of the actual things that I do are really a surprise and even more appreciated.
I’m pretty sure that Saturday will effectively become Valentine’s Day this year because of most people’s schedules. Have fun wherever you end up!
Oh and yes you are welcome to use that text message example… Let me know what sort of responses you get. 🙂
Thanks for commenting,
Yes going out with some girl friends on Valentine’s Day certainly sounds like a fab idea, but you can’t beat having a night in with the girls; gossiping, eating Ben and Jerry’s and drinking wine! Classic : )
Love the post though!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you! The letter you sent to Heidi is so cute, if I had a boyfriend who did something as lovely as that, I would treasure him.
Hehe I know how much girls love those kinds of nights in so if that’s what the girls want to do then go for it! I refrained from making a joke about two male strippers named Ben and Jerry! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by,
Great topic Sam.
Me and my ex-husband always used to agree not to do anything on valentine’s day but when it came round to it, I always secretly wished that he had done something to surprise me and was always a bit dissappointed if I saw friends doing something nice. Let that be a polite tip for other men out there.
I’m not sure what I am doing this year if anything but I will take your advice on board, you have some great ideas.
That’s a good tip and as I mentioned in an earlier comment response, it actually makes the impact of a surprise/gesture even grander if it comes completely unexpected. Did you ever let your husband know that you were disappointed in reality, so that he knew for next time?
I hope you have a lovely day whatever you get up to and thanks for commenting! 🙂
PS: I’m not sure if you are aware that you won a prize announced on my twitter profile for being the 500th person to comment on this website! Congratulations; I am just about to e-mail you your prize! 🙂
I have been in a relationship for almost seven years and I still don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I don’t need one day out of the year to
know I’m loved. 🙂
Wow that is a long relationship and that’s a wonderful sentiment; you could almost make a quote out of it! 🙂
Thanks a lot for commenting,
Last year I went all out and bought a lovely card (it was a special “tiny card” from America) and a ton of gifts for my boyfriend. He bought me? Nothing. He got me some crappy flowers from tesco and a cheap card.
BUT! (After I’d finished crying) we discussed it and he said valentines day is just not that important to him. He’d rather just spend the day with me doing special things. We went for a walk in the Peak District & it was nice. He hates the overcommercialisation of the day. (I didn’t stop crying for a while.)
This year though I think he’s learnt from his mistakes (it was our first valentines together) and might actually pull his finger out. I’ve not bought him anything this year so I’ve learnt from my mistakes too. :p
Seriously though, he shows his love all year round by supporting me through University and doesn’t need to show it through crappy flowers or cards. He knows I like to receive cards though so I’ll likely get one of those. 🙂
Although there seems to be some amusing mix-ups there, your relationship does sound great by the way you discuss things and understand each other.
There’s always the quandary of how much to do or buy on a couple’s first special occasion (I remember my first Christmas with Heidi, I had no idea how many presents she would get me and consequently how much stuff I should get her) but you learn these things and even cheap flowers and a card have the same sentiment behind them.
I hope you have a wonderful day this year and thanks for commenting, 🙂
After writing about the pressure of Valentine’s Day in a post I did at MidlifeBloggers.com, I did get something for the man in my life. My biggest gift was to write a post about him on my site entitled Love is… I then bought him a potted plant, baked cookies and today gave him a very simple sweet card. We show each other affection throughout our relationship in small ways that mean much more to me than the ‘show’ on a day when we’re all expected and pressured to perform.
I’ll be continuing to think about ways to share love throughout the coming months!
Great ideas you’ve shared, as always!
I just found and read the post you mentioned and it’s very sweet; I’m sure when your man stumbled across it he was very touched. I’ve written similar things in letters to Heidi before and getting it written down is a great way of expressing how you feel without coming across as too needy.
Your gifts sound lovely and thoughtful but I completely agree with you that showing affection in small ways throughout the year is far more potent.
Thanks for commenting, and if you ever have some unique ideas for showing love, it would be great to hear them… I’m currently working on a long list of original, romantic ideas to share. 🙂