Before I delve into more in-depth dating techniques and advice, as well as more substantial relationship advice, I thought I would go through a couple of common dating myths that are floating around. I’ve heard these phrases and similar from many different sources time and time again, so I thought I would deal with them once and for all…
“Women don’t enjoy sex”:
This is one of the most absurd myths floating around… that women don’t enjoy sex! On the contrary, most of my female friends can’t get enough sex and want it all the time, assuming it’s good sex. Ever heard of multiple orgasms? The difference is that due to modern cultural norms, women often don’t like to admit they want sex and be branded a “slut”.
This myth is especially rife in a clubbing environment where even the most promiscuous women will say they are going out “to dance”. Do you really think women spend several hours choosing the perfect, sexy outfit, fixing their makeup multiple times, doing their hair with the precision of a rocket launch and generally presenting themselves as a sexual-being just so they can dance? Look, if women just wanted to listen to music and drink with their female friends, they would have a little gathering with CDs and cheap wine at home. Women go out to get laid, just like men.
That’s not saying that women would go out and have sex with anyone. Such a thing would be risky and also alienate them from their peer group and oppose their biological instinct to mate with a man of strength and power. Many women fantasise about going out and being confronted by her Prince Charming, who whisks her off her feet and take her back to his castle for uninhibited, lustful sex. But it has to happen organically. Note that the rules change slightly for women who are already in happy relationships and this is something that I will specifically discuss in an upcoming article.
From speaking to female friends, it seems they can happily go without having sex for some time. This is better than sleeping with the wrong guy to most girls. Having said that, even my less attractive female friends can generally get sex whenever they want, just by calling around a few ex-boyfriends, guys they have previously hooked up with, or just random desperate guys they know. Because of this, men can generally relate to feelings of sexual frustration far more easily.
“Women want a man who will shower them with gifts and affection and give them whatever they want”:
This may even be what women say they want but if so, they have been watching too many Disney movies and Hugh Grant films. 🙂 Being a challenge and “hard to get” is an old theory but one of the most effective ways to create attraction, if done in the right way.
Buying women gifts and showering them with affection early on, before you know her properly, basically communicates that you don’t have particularly high standards and that you are easily impressed. Secondly, it’s not original at all! If you play things cool during the first few weeks of meeting someone new, with the attitude that she is still winning you over, you will be on her mind nonstop, I guarantee. She might even say that she wants more attention and affection from you, but what is she doing there? She’s thinking about you, trying to work you out, and most importantly, pursuing you!
“Women with boyfriends are out of bounds”:
I by no means condone breaking up a happy relationship but in my experience, women of beauty are usually already in a relationship of some kind and get into new ones as soon as the current one ends. My most attractive female friends literally have a queue of guys waiting to get their chance, whether they realise it or not. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are perfectly happy with their options.
There are specific ways of obtaining women with boyfriends without being manipulative and harsh to her current partner but all you need to know here is that almost any woman, whatever her relationship status, is most definitely obtainable.
“If I study hard and get a good career, women will like me”:
No, they will like your wallet, and do you really want a woman like that? Not regarding the fact that while you are spending eight hours a night slaving away at your books and computer, you are missing out on valuable and irreplaceable practice of social skills.
You can learn ten years of social skills in just six months if you want to. Most professional men are going out one, maybe two nights a week, and generally getting drunk beyond recognition on those nights. There’s not much tangible practice of social skills going on.
Work on your social skills and learn to present your personality authentically. Then you will be able to find a women who truly likes you for just being you! 🙂
The second part of ‘Dispelling male myths about dating’ can be found HERE.