Even if you make an unfavourable impression when you first meet someone, if you can still get them on a date with you then you can always rectify that impression. Recovering from a terrible first date on the other hand is a difficult thing to do.
This article will discuss some tips for having an incredible first date, which paves the way for whatever sort of relationship you are looking for. I will also answer some common first date questions throughout…
The best attitude to have on a first date:
Most people’s downfall when arranging or actually going on a first date with someone new is putting far too much pressure and outcome dependence on what might happen.
I’ve always found it useful to think of a date as “hanging out with someone” rather than assuming romantic implications. The more informal and casual you make the date sound when discussing plans, the more relaxed the other person will feel about the whole event.
How to act on a first date:
The first few minutes of a date often determines how the rest of it will go and how at ease everyone feels. The absolute worst thing to occur is an awkward silence or a sense of unfamiliarity when you first meet.
What I often used to do when I first met a woman for a date was give her a big overly enthusiastic hug, as it immediately gets her in a fun state as well as immediately breaking any physical reservations. Even more important though is to smile genuinely and to start talking and interacting straight away.
As for gestures and actions, I always advocate being gentlemanly and polite but never submissive.
Remember that the purpose of a date is to get to know each other; there are obviously fun and boring ways to go about this. Ask lots of questions but avoid making it seem like an interview. If you struggle to come up with interesting questions, statements and stories then I actually have several games you can play on a date that achieve this that I am happy to share by request.
Who should pay on a first date?
A lot of men still worry about who should pay on a first date as it does indeed set a precedent for any relationship thereafter.
As with most things related to dating, something is only an issue if you make it an issue! Even so, there are still a lot of assumptions that people have about who should pay on a date.
A great way to diffuse any awkwardness over who should pay is to casually address the situation before it crops up. An example of what I used to say is something like, “I’ll get these drinks and you can get the ice-creams later.”
If you have the money and you are happy to pay then by all means do so, as long as it isn’t forced or obligatory. The only thing to remember is that roles such as this are a lot harder to change down the line than set out at the start of a relationship. If you don’t want to pay for everything if a relationship does develop then don’t pay for everything whilst dating.
Getting physical on a first date:
Following on from my suggestion of greeting your date with a hug, you want to go through the date with a smooth progression of physical touch. This begins with social touch (touching areas of the body like the shoulders and forearms) to more romantic touch such as hand-holding and prolonged contact. The key is to have a smooth escalation of all these different types of touch right from the start so that there are never any awkward jumps in levels of intimacy.
Kissing is really just another stage on this scale, somewhere between romantic touch and sexual touch.
This should answer the question about when to kiss on a first date; the answer being once your date is comfortable with romantic touch (touching areas such as the hands, legs and face).
Where to go on a first date:
One of my very first articles on sparklife was an article titled The perfect first date, which described what I believe is the best first date. I shall paraphrase some of that information here.
Cliché dates such as going to the cinema or going to dinner may well be enjoyable but they don’t allow the best opportunity for two people to connect and engage with each other.
A far better alternative is to arrange something quick, easy, low-commitment, casual and fun. This can be simply going for a drink together or perhaps meeting in a town centre or shopping mall for a bit. The activity shouldn’t have to be the source of fun… you should be!
You will also get far less flakes or rejections on dates such as these as there is far less pressure and expectation for a potential relationship.
Some final first date tips:
The main thing on a first date is to have fun and not worry about any eventual outcome for now. Every date is a learning experience.
Don’t hesitate to go on lots of dates and never pre-empt someone being “the one” before you have really got to know them. 🙂