I’d like to start off by saying that I do not condone cheating as a general practice but too many couples react far too cut and dry when they find out their partner has cheated, rather than sit back and analyse the actual root cause of the infidelity. My personal definition of cheating is quite concise so I already know how I am going to react if I am ever faced with the scenario… Rationally and within the context of the specific situation!

The fact of the matter is that if someone wants to cheat on you, although what I outlined in the popular article ‘The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating’ is a great ideal to pursue, there’s no one instantaneous thing you can do to passively stop them. You can however deal with it in a multitude of different ways.

In this article I will start by giving some definitions of what constitutes as cheating and then explain why if these are dishonoured there are a lot bigger issues at work than the actual act of cheating itself… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 10:36 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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As I have said before, arguments with a partner generally stem from not feeling loved, valued or respected enough. Humans are creatures of emotion and instances, so it is almost impossible to avoid arguments one hundred percent of the time.

The skill though is to recognise arguments early and if avoiding them is not possible then trying to move through them in the most amicable and beneficial way for your relationship is the number one priority. Below are a number of ways to deal with arguments in a relationship…

Misconceptions surrounding arguments in relationships:

Some people claim that arguments are “healthy in relationships” and others state that “you only argue with the people you love”. Whilst these have some truth to them, they are rationalising the problem from an extrinsic source.

The reason why someone would think that arguments are healthy in relationships is because they produce a profound spike of emotions. A heavy third of attraction is based around creating emotional spikes, and negative emotions in a relationship often SEEM better than neutral or passive emotions.

When someone refers to arguments being healthy, what they actually mean is that the emotional rollercoaster of feeling their partner cares and the bliss of the making-up period is conducive to the relationship as a whole. There are better ways of achieving this though and whilst a strong will and display of emotions is imperative to a long-lasting relationship, you want to always try to make them wholly positive emotions. You don’t have to argue to express your feelings or to have a ‘making-up’ period! [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 4:32 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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In the conclusion to the article ‘The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating’, I talked about being the best boyfriend or girlfriend possible. Below is a list of ten attributes that can help you be the best boyfriend or girlfriend possible…

1.) Lead an attractive lifestyle:

An attractive lifestyle is something you should be constantly trying to optimise if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life and the more happy and fulfilling your own life is, the more happy and fulfilling your partner’s will be… Emotions are contagious!

There is a common piece of dating advice that says ‘bring them into your world’ and it definitely carries on into relationships too. Humans are creatures of habit and routine and so there is nothing more exciting than being incorporated into an exciting and new attractive lifestyle.

An attractive lifestyle is made up of many aspects: having a healthy social life with lots of interesting people in it, having exciting hobbies and creating opportunities such as travelling are all wonderful things to be able to include your partner in. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 at 3:34 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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My last article was about how to advance your dating life and social life in general by starting to approach and meet more people in everyday life. I thought I would write a somewhat related article before diverging into more in-depth relationship topics once more.

This article focuses on a dating principle that is often conducted inefficiently, if conducted at all…

The most important principle in dating:

One of the most disregarded pieces of the dating puzzle is the process of telling someone why you like them. If you’ve ever had someone stand you up for a date… If you’ve ever had someone you like not return your calls or texts… If you’ve ever had someone seem really interested in you and then witness that interest swiftly plummet without explanation… This is probably the reason!

It seems simple in principle but so many people fail to actually tell people they are attracted to what it is they actually like about them beyond their physical appearance. A result of this is that the other person will always be thinking “hmm are they only after one thing… Do they actually like ME?” Admittedly, this is more of a common thought amongst women than men, as dating culture has set men up to be the pursuers, who will generally reap ANY reciprocated interest.

Whatever your intentions are, if you don’t tell someone what you like about them early on, any future relationship is going to start in a staggered fashion, if at all. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 16th, 2009 at 1:36 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating.
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In the article ‘Steps for finding the perfect partner’, one of the points was that to increase your chances of meeting the perfect partner, you have to be willing to meet as many people as you reasonably can.

Just think how many people pass you by every day without you taking a second glance… Call me a whimsical romantic but every single member of the opposite sex that you nonchalantly pass by each day could be your future soul mate!!

Make a commitment:

One of the biggest barriers that inhibits people from approaching members of the opposite sex that they would like to meet is EXCUSES. Even guys who have paid me sizeable amounts of money to teach them how to meet women still give me a barrage of excuses when it comes to actually doing it:

“I’m not really attracted to her.”

“She looks busy.”

“I’m not feeling it.”

“I’ve hesitated too long.”

[Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Sunday, April 12th, 2009 at 10:03 am by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating.
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Are you COMPLETELY satisfied with your current relationship?

The more couples I come across, either through work or simply through a growing interest in the mechanics and details of a healthy relationship, the more people I see who are simply not content in theirs.

I don’t believe it can ever truly be a one-way issue either. Even when there is an obvious dominant person in the relationship, to have an unresponsive or lacklustre partner is equally dissatisfying.

These observations were further brought to my attention recently on a forum that I occasional visit. Someone posted the following sarcastic yet poignant mantra entitled ‘My girlfriend’… It is the last line that really makes me empathise with this person:

“I love how she rarely wants sex.

I love how she never does any housework.

I love how she nitpicks at harmless things I do.

I love how she is gaining weight.

I love how at age 22 I feel like a middle-aged married man.

I love how I feel I can’t leave her.”

For this article, I am going to list a couple of reasons as to why someone might stay in a relationship, even if they know it is not wholly right for them, before revealing the ONLY reason you should stay in a relationship… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 7th, 2009 at 3:27 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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I recently signed up for an online course at problogger.net called ’31 days to build a better blog’, more out of intrigue than anything else. The course started today and the first task was to create a SWOT analysis and elevator pitch for your personal website… In my case, Sparklife.info.

A SWOT analysis is a strategic marketing term that stands for ‘Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats’ and I thought I would share what I wrote with you lovely people, so that you can get a better idea of what Sparklife.info strives to be…

Mission statement and goals:

Simply put, my mission statement is ‘to help others achieve everlasting relationship happiness through the process of conscious dating’. I’ve written more about this in my first post but it saddens me to see how many people there are out there either in unhealthy relationships, or not getting what they want in their dating lives. If some of my advice on these pages can help even a few people get what they deserve in their relationships, I will have achieved what I intended to. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 6th, 2009 at 10:31 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under General.
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Long distance relationships are becoming a far more common setup these days. I would define one, not necessarily by literal distance but more so by how often a couple can feasibly see each other.

This actually happens to be the situation me and my girlfriend Heidi have been in since very early on in our relationship. As it stands, we are rarely closer than an hour’s drive apart and are often up to three hours drive away from each other. However, we both make the relationship work because we both WANT to make it work! Although every relationship is different, here are some general pointers for managing a long distance relationship…

Being realistic about the relationship:

You want to be realistic regarding your relationship as soon as possible and ideally before anything becomes too serious. Once people become too attached to one another, it’s a lot harder to think logically about specific terms and desires. You want to decide as soon as possible what is really going to work for you. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 at 3:05 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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One of the biggest hurdles to overcome when dating an attractive woman is accepting that other people will find her attractive and as a consequence, will try and hit on her.

I had it especially hard as my girlfriend was a freshman at University when our relationship first started becoming serious. This is a place where there are obviously a lot of sexually-charged, inebriated guys who don’t all necessarily have the best morals yet when it comes to dating. When I visited my girlfriend during this time, I would come up against a lot of situations where she was getting hit on and found several ways to effectively deal with it, both emotionally and in practice…

Take pride that she is attractive to other people:

Think honestly if you would rather date someone who no one ever showed any interest in, or someone who everyone wishes they were with? It is a massive COMPLIMENT to you if someone hits on your girlfriend.

As I’ve stated before, flirting within certain boundaries is harmless and it actually invigorates a woman to know she is still desirable to men, so let her have this non-judgemental validation. I remember talking to one of my older brother’s female friends a while back (they are around the thirty year old mark) and she said her biggest fear was to no longer have guys show interest in her as it would be a sign that she is becoming old and unattractive. Embrace the fact that your girlfriend is attractive and be proud to show her off to the world, knowing ultimately that she is with YOU! [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 30th, 2009 at 3:41 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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My wonderful Mother, knowing what I do for a living, recently decided to surprise me by buying me a book that has been getting a lot of media attention lately: ‘How to Talk to Girls’ by Alec Greven. The talking point being that this so called ‘Dating Guru’ is a nine year old boy from America!

'How to Talk to Girls' by Alec Greven

[Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Saturday, March 28th, 2009 at 2:33 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under General.
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