Many problems within relationships can be solved with only a small amount of awareness and action. Things such as jealousy, lack of trust or arguments (all topics I have covered on this website previously; please check the archives) are either self-imposed psychological defects or temporary blips in an otherwise fulfilling relationship.

There is one facet in a relationship that once fully developed is very hard to overcome though… It is the main cause for the breakdown of relationships of several years or more and is also very subtle in its evolvement.

The number one relationship killer that I am referring to is [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 at 8:24 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Hello everybody! I have just got back from helping instruct at another dating seminar/bootcamp in London and on preparing to write this week’s update I realised that tomorrow is exactly six months since I posted the very first article here on Sparklife.info!

• 30 unique articles!
• 247 comments!
• 149 smiley faces! …Make that 150!

It has been an immensely enjoyable six months, where I have developed and expanded a lot of my own theories regarding dating and relationships and I hope you have all enjoyed reading what I have written so far.

For this week’s update, to give you all a chance to catch up, I have decided to list every article posted by me here at Sparklife.info so far, so you can check out ones you may not have read yet… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 at 4:02 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under General.
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Ever since mentioning phone sex as a means to additional sexual fulfilment in a relationship I have received several e-mails asking me to write about it in more depth, so that is what I have done here.

Phone sex is most pragmatic for long-distance relationships or other instances where you and your partner will be apart for some amount of time; basically, any time there will be an unavoidable absence of physical intimacy between you and your partner. Phone sex can also be used without these constraints though, simply as an extra way to spice up and vary a sexual relationship.

Engaging in phone sex with your partner may seem strange or mildly uncomfortable at first but this article will explain why it is a great activity for both you and your partner. I will also reveal some practical guidelines on how to make it as enjoyable for both of you as possible…

Why phone sex is great in a relationship:

Relationships take a lot of work to keep fresh and exciting and far too often couples find themselves shifting into a monotonous routine, especially where sex is concerned. Phone sex is not only exciting in itself but it is also a great way to let your imagination run wild and safely introduce ideas and fantasies that may seem inappropriate in person. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 at 3:58 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Sex.
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Are you a nice guy?

The ‘nice guy’ is a common term that gets casually thrown around the dating scene. It describes a guy who may very well have lots of female friends, yet at the same time finds it hard to specifically convert that friendship into romantic interest with the women that they want. Ironically, women are actually looking for someone with the very qualities that the nice guys possess, yet in popular culture women always seem to be attracted to the ‘bad boys’… Why is that?

This article is going to specifically break down the difference between these two contrasting behaviour types before explaining how you can attract the women that you desire whilst still being a ‘nice guy’…

The difference between nice guys and bad boys:

Women are generally very good at describing what they want their ideal partner to be like and they will readily list off a number of qualities that nice guys typically possess: loyal, trustworthy, reliable etc. The problem is that in these circumstances women are thinking in terms of someone they could experience a long and fulfilling relationship with, not someone who is going to subconsciously attract them when they first meet. This is the first cause for why men are sometimes confused as to what women really look for in a man. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating.
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A large age gap between a romantic couple always sparks controversy in modern society, no matter how happy the couple in question seem together. Although my personal experience with age-gap relationships is far from an extreme example, my current relationship would probably be considered one by some people. I am four years older than Heidi, which may not seem significant but due to the fact we were both fairly young when we first started dating, we did have to deal with a mild amount of external judgement at the time. This mainly came from two sources, each with slightly different sentiments: first was Heidi’s family whose feelings were that of concern and secondly were some of my friends whose opinions were portrayed more in the form of humorous teasing. In my experience of speaking to other couples in relationships with differing ages, these are the two sorts of external judgement that are most common in this situation.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 3:28 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Many relationship gurus harp on about respect in relationships but it is not something that you can have with the flick of a switch… Respect from your partner is something that you earn over time. It is the key to building true friendships and it is also most certainly the key to building a solid, long-lasting relationship! It may take a while to build this solid foundation of respect but it only takes a minute to lose it all so it is useful to have some instructions to keep in mind as the relationship progresses. The following list contains ten ways to earn your partner’s complete respect…

1.) Have strong boundaries:

In a relationship, you want to clearly identify for yourself how you want to be treated and define what behaviour is acceptable and what is unacceptable early on. You don’t need to be ruthless with your values but the moment you let your partner walk over or manipulate you even once, is when you lose all respect. This should be a mutual setup where you are also willing to respect your partner’s boundaries, even if they differ from yours. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 at 4:55 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Whether you are single, in a monogamous relationship or anywhere in between, the foundation to having a successful and happy dating life or relationship is in learning how to communicate with other people effectively, which is the essence of being ‘sociable’.

When I was in my early teens I always thought that you were either born with great social skills or you had to make do without. There were kids in school who seemed to make no effort to have swarms of friends and be the life of all social functions. The truth is that being sociable is a learnt skill and no matter how extroverted you were taught to be when growing up, everyone can practice being more sociable. Being able to have positive interactions with all the people you meet will certainly enrich many aspects of your life.

In order to become more outgoing in general, it’s all very well being told, “just get out there and force yourself to be”. Unfortunately humans aren’t always the best at forcing themselves to break habits and do new things. A far more balmy method to become more sociable is to put yourself in a situation where you are forced to interact with other people by default… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 at 3:23 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating.
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Do you have sexual fantasies that you keep to yourself?

Is there a sexual fantasy you have that you really want your girlfriend or boyfriend to try but don’t know how to approach it?

Starting a new sexual relationship is one of the most exciting and exhilarating times but it doesn’t take long for sex with the same person to become monotonous. From the people willing to divulge aspects of their sex-lives it seems it is all too common for relationships that have surpassed the one-year mark (especially ones that have gone far beyond that) to have a sex-life that consists of a predetermined routine, devoid of all the passion, excitement and discovery of the initial period.

This article will talk about ways to get your girlfriend or boyfriend more sexually expressive as well as get them more interested in trying new things in the bedroom (or anywhere else you might have sex)…

Sexual Polarity:

Sexual polarity is something that David Deida as well as many other ‘sexperts’ talk about, whereby true sexual fulfilment for a couple requires both a masculine and a feminine counterpart. In more relevant language this means that for ongoing sexual attraction and passion in a relationship, there needs to be one person who is more sexually dominant and one person who plays a more submissive role during sex. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 25th, 2009 at 6:07 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Sex.
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The ego is the human-mind’s way of distinguishing itself from the selves of others and objects of its thought and although everyone possesses an ego to exist, the degree to which people let it meddle with their relationships varies considerably.

There are three main instances in romantic relationships where the ego is directly reacting to the situation and this article aims to explain each of those instances clearly so you can determine yourself just how deadly your ego is in your relationship…

How much do you like your partner?

It sounds silly to question how much you like your partner… You wouldn’t be with them if you didn’t like them, right?

Personal qualities and physical attributes go without saying… Humans have an innate intuition as well as a logical function regarding these two factors. What I’m referring to here is how much you like your partner on a deep, subconscious level. In other words, are you with your partner because you share a deep connection and it actively adds to your external happiness or are you with them to feel a more complete sense of self-worth? Humans have an inherent desire to feel loved so it’s not something that anyone should be ashamed to admit. It is worth thinking about though if you want to know if you are going to experience real love and everlasting happiness with your partner. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 at 8:44 am by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Having a ‘movie evening’ with someone in any sort of romantic fashion actually requires a fair bit of investment and commitment to a potential relationship, so whilst it doesn’t make a particularly good first date, watching a movie together makes a great second or third date. Whilst I am by no means a renowned movie expert, I still get asked occasionally for movie recommendations for dates, which is the inspiration for this article.

To be honest, the actual choice of movie isn’t all that important (although I will give some suggestions later in this article); it’s more about the time spent together and developing the interaction between the two of you, so as long as the selection isn’t yawn-inducing, it should be fine. Having said that, in this article I will give a few things to think about regarding this topic, which conveniently ties in with how to make decisions on almost ANYTHING date related…

Choosing a movie for a date:

The reason watching a movie at home with someone you are romantically interested in is such a great idea in the early stages of dating is that it breeds familiarity and is an easy way to start building romantic intimacy and rapport, without too much pressure. Also, if you pick the right sort of movie, you can help curb the energy levels and emotional stimulus of the relationship, as explained in the following summary: [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 3:02 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating.
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