“I think we should take a break!”

It’s the phrase that everyone in a relationship dreads to hear from their girlfriend or boyfriend and rightly so! Going on a break is rarely as innocent as it sounds and is indubitably the result of one or many problems manifesting in a relationship.

If a couple are going through a bad patch in their relationship then going on a break seems like an easy temporary solution for a confusing situation. As this article will explain, it can end up being either the inspiration for rectifying the relationship or it can be the immediate demise of the relationship. It depends solely on how it is approached and the real reasoning behind it!

This article will list a few common reasons for wanting to go on a break along with advice for both people involved before offering some alternative routes of action that stem from more assertive behaviour than what going on a break represents…

Reasons for going on a break:

The ultimatum of going on a break is rarely a mutual decision… but it is often a mutual feeling! At the very least it is evidence of someone taking CONTROL over problems in their relationship and even if there is one notable event that acts as a catalyst for the decision, the thoughts and feelings of going on a break have probably been brewing for some time. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 6:01 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Humans are social creatures and as a side effect we have developed several hard-wired survival techniques. The ability to lie is one of those, although that is not to say that it is the best technique to succeed in modern society, let alone relationships!

I was recently interviewed by an online publication on ‘the benefits of lying in relationships’ (a loaded title if ever there was one) but it did get me thinking intently about why couples really lie to each other. The truth is that however honest a couple say they are there is always going to be one or two things that can be construed as dishonest by the other person. The question is where do trivial lies cross over into damaging lies?

This article will explain the different types of lying, the reasons why people lie in relationships and then discuss some pressing consequences surrounding these…

The different types of lying:

There are three main types of lie, each varying in intensity, and what is right and wrong for you will largely be based on your own moral upbringing and development.

The three main types of lie in a relationship are: [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 5:45 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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I have had several requests by readers that it is about time I wrote another article on a more sexual topic, so I have chosen to write on the topic of Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises are something that you may never have heard of before and a lot of people who are already aware of them severely underrate the incredible effect they can have on one’s sex life.

This article will give a brief background as to what Kegel exercises are before describing how they can improve sexual performance and then most importantly, detailing how to do the exercises for yourself…

What are Kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises were developed by an American gynaecologist called Dr. Arthur Kegel in the mid twentieth century. They are a method of strengthening the Pubococcygeus muscles (commonly referred to as the PC muscles) that are situated on the pelvic floor just below both the female and male genitalia. They were originally developed to aid pregnant women in having more physical control immediately before, during and after pregnancy but in recent years their effect on sexual fulfilment has also been keenly researched. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 at 4:36 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Sex.
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I always advocate relationships that are fully open and trusting, regardless of how serious or monogamous they are. However, there are some topics that will do your relationship no favours by being discussed in intricate detail, especially in the initial stages of dating and connecting.

A lot of a relationship’s success is based upon the effort each person makes on their own personal development. Things such as jealousy, arguments and ‘the number one relationship killer’ are all based on insecurities that are individual and not that of a couple. Whilst I repeat the sentiment that relationships should be fully open and trusting, there is a big difference between sharing your insecurities with your partner and expecting them to ‘fix you’, as opposed to being responsible for your own personal development.

So to expand this article’s title to a less pithy but more accurate version, below are a couple of topics that you should avoid detailing or enquiring to unnecessary and inconsiderate depths with you partner… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 6:42 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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This is the story of how I met my wonderful girlfriend Heidi, almost three years ago. The story is told first from my perspective and then followed by Heidi’s own version of events…

Sam on the approach:

It was a typically balmy afternoon in Devon, South England and I was doing what British students do best during a weekday afternoon… loitering in town!

On my inversely gargantuan ‘to do list’ was the mundane task of purchasing a plain white t-shirt for an upcoming break-dancing performance, yet I was in a particularly excitable mood that afternoon… My degree was coming to an end and my leap into the big, scary real-world was imminent!

At this stage in my life, I was already very good at approaching and attracting women in bars and clubs and was already getting substantial work and seminar slots as a dating coach in London. Even so, you’re only good at what you know… and meeting women in less social environments such as the daytime was something I hadn’t put too much thought to at the time.

My excitable mood on that fateful Tuesday was heightened further on entering Primark (a cheap and cheerful English clothes shop) and seeing two attractive female friends of mine from the University. They were excited to see me and belted towards me to give me a rapturous hug… Little did I know at the time that this would play an unintentionally effective part in what was about to be a big moment in my life! [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 at 4:21 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under General.
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Many problems within relationships can be solved with only a small amount of awareness and action. Things such as jealousy, lack of trust or arguments (all topics I have covered on this website previously; please check the archives) are either self-imposed psychological defects or temporary blips in an otherwise fulfilling relationship.

There is one facet in a relationship that once fully developed is very hard to overcome though… It is the main cause for the breakdown of relationships of several years or more and is also very subtle in its evolvement.

The number one relationship killer that I am referring to is [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 at 8:24 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Hello everybody! I have just got back from helping instruct at another dating seminar/bootcamp in London and on preparing to write this week’s update I realised that tomorrow is exactly six months since I posted the very first article here on Sparklife.info!

• 30 unique articles!
• 247 comments!
• 149 smiley faces! …Make that 150!

It has been an immensely enjoyable six months, where I have developed and expanded a lot of my own theories regarding dating and relationships and I hope you have all enjoyed reading what I have written so far.

For this week’s update, to give you all a chance to catch up, I have decided to list every article posted by me here at Sparklife.info so far, so you can check out ones you may not have read yet… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 at 4:02 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under General.
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Ever since mentioning phone sex as a means to additional sexual fulfilment in a relationship I have received several e-mails asking me to write about it in more depth, so that is what I have done here.

Phone sex is most pragmatic for long-distance relationships or other instances where you and your partner will be apart for some amount of time; basically, any time there will be an unavoidable absence of physical intimacy between you and your partner. Phone sex can also be used without these constraints though, simply as an extra way to spice up and vary a sexual relationship.

Engaging in phone sex with your partner may seem strange or mildly uncomfortable at first but this article will explain why it is a great activity for both you and your partner. I will also reveal some practical guidelines on how to make it as enjoyable for both of you as possible…

Why phone sex is great in a relationship:

Relationships take a lot of work to keep fresh and exciting and far too often couples find themselves shifting into a monotonous routine, especially where sex is concerned. Phone sex is not only exciting in itself but it is also a great way to let your imagination run wild and safely introduce ideas and fantasies that may seem inappropriate in person. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 at 3:58 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Sex.
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Are you a nice guy?

The ‘nice guy’ is a common term that gets casually thrown around the dating scene. It describes a guy who may very well have lots of female friends, yet at the same time finds it hard to specifically convert that friendship into romantic interest with the women that they want. Ironically, women are actually looking for someone with the very qualities that the nice guys possess, yet in popular culture women always seem to be attracted to the ‘bad boys’… Why is that?

This article is going to specifically break down the difference between these two contrasting behaviour types before explaining how you can attract the women that you desire whilst still being a ‘nice guy’…

The difference between nice guys and bad boys:

Women are generally very good at describing what they want their ideal partner to be like and they will readily list off a number of qualities that nice guys typically possess: loyal, trustworthy, reliable etc. The problem is that in these circumstances women are thinking in terms of someone they could experience a long and fulfilling relationship with, not someone who is going to subconsciously attract them when they first meet. This is the first cause for why men are sometimes confused as to what women really look for in a man. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating.
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A large age gap between a romantic couple always sparks controversy in modern society, no matter how happy the couple in question seem together. Although my personal experience with age-gap relationships is far from an extreme example, my current relationship would probably be considered one by some people. I am four years older than Heidi, which may not seem significant but due to the fact we were both fairly young when we first started dating, we did have to deal with a mild amount of external judgement at the time. This mainly came from two sources, each with slightly different sentiments: first was Heidi’s family whose feelings were that of concern and secondly were some of my friends whose opinions were portrayed more in the form of humorous teasing. In my experience of speaking to other couples in relationships with differing ages, these are the two sorts of external judgement that are most common in this situation.

[Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 3:28 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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