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First date tips

Even if you make an unfavourable impression when you first meet someone, if you can still get them on a date with you then you can always rectify that impression… Recovering from a terrible first date on the other hand is a difficult thing to do!

This article will discuss some tips for having an incredible first date, which paves the way for whatever sort of relationship you are looking for. I will also answer some common first date questions throughout. Feel free to add your own experiences in the comments section at the bottom of this article… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

A 10 minute exercise to improve your relationship

Couples come to me with all sorts of relationship issues but they can always be sorted into two categories: prevention or improvement!

Some examples of issues that would fall under the prevention category are solving excessive arguments, eliminating any unnecessary jealousy or dealing with frustration towards a romantic partner’s changeable behaviour.

Some common examples that fall under the improvement category are couples looking for more intimacy, understanding or romance in their relationship.

The thing with any of the above is that the people coming to me for relationship advice are not always concise about their particular issue and how it developed. It is so easy to settle into a relationship and become blissfully unaware of the value of continually working on and enriching certain aspects of it, until things start to go downhill that is.

Below is an exercise that will start to highlight any areas of your relationship that might require some extra effort or attention. Even if you currently feel perfectly happy in your relationship, you will be surprised at how easy it is to further enrich it still. 🙂

As a result of doing this exercise, you are also likely to reveal exactly how fulfilling your relationship and indeed your partner really is for you… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Dealing with a breakup

Only a small proportion of people remain with their first girlfriend or boyfriend for life, so dealing with breakups is an inevitable consequence of having an active dating life.

A breakup can occasionally be a completely mutual decision (and they are ultimately the least emotionally damaging for both parties) but more often than not, there is one person a lot more emotionally affected by a breakup. That person will usually be the one on the receiving end of the news.

There are two perspectives that this article will focus on. First we shall deal with breakups from the point of view of the recipient: the person in the relationship who does not necessarily want it to end (often referred to colloquially and somewhat abrasively as the “dumpee”). I will then address breakups from the point of view of the instigator (the person initiating the breakup) before finishing with advice suitable for both… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

The Happy Relationship Time Line

Every relationship is unique and what works for one couple does not necessarily replicate for every other couple out there!

Having now worked with hundreds of romantic couples from all sorts of backgrounds, beliefs and experience levels, I’ve started to discover more and more trends that DO span across a variety of different relationships and more specifically, how those relationships develop over time.

In this article, I am going to present to you a simplified version of this relationship development in the form of an illustrated time line. It portrays two of the core elements behind every happy and fulfilling long-term relationship… I call it The Happy Relationship Time Line! 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Handling criticism and dealing with feeling criticised

Criticism is defined as the act of passing judgement on both the merits and faults of something someone does, although in a relationship it is associated predominantly with negative feedback:

“You never do…”

“That’s typical of you…”

“You’re useless at…”

Criticism is something that is rife in all areas of life, from family to business, but it is in a long-term relationship where criticism can feel particularly hurtful and can easily develop into something far more sinister… [Continue reading this post…]

Trust in a relationship – Trusting your girlfriend or boyfriend

Ask any relationship expert what they believe the foundation to a lasting relationship is and chances are that “trust” will appear near the top of the list.

Second to that, the most popular article on this website by some margin is one I wrote last year titled, ‘Dealing with your girlfriend getting hit on’. The comments section of that article currently features over 100 in-depth questions and answers and the recurring topic throughout is that of ‘trust in a relationship’.

This article aims to condense some of the advice given in response to those real-life relationship concerns, as well as give some further insights as to why trust can become such a big issue in a relationship and how you can learn to be at peace with it at all times… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

3 steps to being more attractive

There are several factors that contribute towards how attractive you are… or more precisely, how attractive people perceive you to be. The two overriding factors though are your internal beliefs and your conveyed personality.

Internal beliefs are generally constructed through life experience, from infancy onwards… If you experience positive messages and attention from others, you will generally have a lot more self-belief and confidence by default than if you rarely receive validation of that sort.

Conveyed personality is an extension of that inner confidence and is basically how we come across to other people, including first impressions and social skills.

Internal beliefs and conveyed personality are closely correlated, with each one directly affecting the other. This means that by improving one aspect of these attraction variables, you proportionally improve the other.

This article is going to focus on the latter of these two variables, with the intention being that by paying attention to certain aspects of your personality, you can increase how attractive other people perceive you. This will in turn improve several internal beliefs.

Note that this article is not implying that you change your core personality, more that it is suggesting ways to CONVEY your personality in the best way. Also remember that attraction doesn’t stop when you’re in a relationship… presumably you want to remain attractive throughout your relationships too! 🙂

Without further ado, here are three steps to being more attractive… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Power struggle and control in relationships

It is widely recognisable that there are two distinct stages during the first few years of a new relationship.

The first of these stages is the attraction, lust and romance stage, which develops from when a couple first start dating and can last anywhere from a few months to several years. This continues whilst a couple discover each other fully and build intimate rapport together.

The second of these stages is the commitment, management and awareness stage, which continues thereafter. This stage usually develops around the time there is a prominent gesture of commitment, such as deciding to live together, or simply the period where a couple become deeply and emotionally close to one another.

The power shifts that develop across these two stages are unavoidable but the degree to which we let a power struggle affect a relationship can most certainly be handled… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

My thoughts on polyamory and open relationships

You may be familiar with the term polygamy, which refers to a married man or woman having more than one spouse at a time: a practice that is illegal in many cultures and frowned upon in others (although not all). Polyamory is a modern adaptation of this, which simply refers to someone having more than one loving or sexual relationship at a time.

Modern-day polyamorous relationships, or ‘open relationships’, have a somewhat negative reputation in modern society and I think this is largely because they are misunderstood.

I thought I would share some of my own insights into polyamorous relationships and explain how, whether you approve of the underlying principles or not, they can help enrich how you approach your own relationships and the attitudes and mindsets surrounding them… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

How to get your ex back

As gets increasingly popular, I receive more and more requests from advertisers and affiliate marketers wanting my endorsement. For some reason, the most common request is from ‘get your ex back’ type programs.

There are specific reasons why I am reluctant to promote any program or service that deals with getting back with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend that I will explain shortly, but this third-party interest does show that it is a common enough issue for me to cover.

This article will give a few tips on how to get back with an ex but will first address what I believe is a far more pertinent question… [Continue reading this post…]