Men and women who have been cheated on in the past will usually be able to look back and pinpoint certain forewarnings in their partner’s behaviour and develop their own reasons for why it happened. There is a tendency to ignore any of the real relational reasons behind it though and to instead frivolously load all the blame on the cheating partner. Every action has causation and it’s only by understanding and being aware of the causation that will allow you to prevent or deal with what comes of it… in this case, cheating!

I’ve written previously about ‘The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating’ and why ‘Cheating on a partner does not matter’ but a useful thing to know before committing yourself to someone in the form of a monogamous relationship is how likely are they to cheat on you at any point along the way.

There are some people in relationships who in the back of their minds are scared stiff that their partner will cheat on them and will have already imposed strict consequences for finding out that they have. Whilst you never want to turn into a neurotic relationship detective by probing and testing your partner’s fidelity at every opportunity, knowing some of the causes for cheating will ease any concern and help you to focus on the more positive aspects of a relationship.

This article will list three ways that dictate how likely your partner is to cheat… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 4:53 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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“I think we should take a break!”

It’s the phrase that everyone in a relationship dreads to hear from their girlfriend or boyfriend and rightly so! Going on a break is rarely as innocent as it sounds and is indubitably the result of one or many problems manifesting in a relationship.

If a couple are going through a bad patch in their relationship then going on a break seems like an easy temporary solution for a confusing situation. As this article will explain, it can end up being either the inspiration for rectifying the relationship or it can be the immediate demise of the relationship. It depends solely on how it is approached and the real reasoning behind it!

This article will list a few common reasons for wanting to go on a break along with advice for both people involved before offering some alternative routes of action that stem from more assertive behaviour than what going on a break represents…

Reasons for going on a break:

The ultimatum of going on a break is rarely a mutual decision… but it is often a mutual feeling! At the very least it is evidence of someone taking CONTROL over problems in their relationship and even if there is one notable event that acts as a catalyst for the decision, the thoughts and feelings of going on a break have probably been brewing for some time. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 6:01 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Humans are social creatures and as a side effect we have developed several hard-wired survival techniques. The ability to lie is one of those, although that is not to say that it is the best technique to succeed in modern society, let alone relationships!

I was recently interviewed by an online publication on ‘the benefits of lying in relationships’ (a loaded title if ever there was one) but it did get me thinking intently about why couples really lie to each other. The truth is that however honest a couple say they are there is always going to be one or two things that can be construed as dishonest by the other person. The question is where do trivial lies cross over into damaging lies?

This article will explain the different types of lying, the reasons why people lie in relationships and then discuss some pressing consequences surrounding these…

The different types of lying:

There are three main types of lie, each varying in intensity, and what is right and wrong for you will largely be based on your own moral upbringing and development.

The three main types of lie in a relationship are: [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 5:45 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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I always advocate relationships that are fully open and trusting, regardless of how serious or monogamous they are. However, there are some topics that will do your relationship no favours by being discussed in intricate detail, especially in the initial stages of dating and connecting.

A lot of a relationship’s success is based upon the effort each person makes on their own personal development. Things such as jealousy, arguments and ‘the number one relationship killer’ are all based on insecurities that are individual and not that of a couple. Whilst I repeat the sentiment that relationships should be fully open and trusting, there is a big difference between sharing your insecurities with your partner and expecting them to ‘fix you’, as opposed to being responsible for your own personal development.

So to expand this article’s title to a less pithy but more accurate version, below are a couple of topics that you should avoid detailing or enquiring to unnecessary and inconsiderate depths with you partner… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 6:42 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Many problems within relationships can be solved with only a small amount of awareness and action. Things such as jealousy, lack of trust or arguments (all topics I have covered on this website previously; please check the archives) are either self-imposed psychological defects or temporary blips in an otherwise fulfilling relationship.

There is one facet in a relationship that once fully developed is very hard to overcome though… It is the main cause for the breakdown of relationships of several years or more and is also very subtle in its evolvement.

The number one relationship killer that I am referring to is [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 at 8:24 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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A large age gap between a romantic couple always sparks controversy in modern society, no matter how happy the couple in question seem together. Although my personal experience with age-gap relationships is far from an extreme example, my current relationship would probably be considered one by some people. I am four years older than Heidi, which may not seem significant but due to the fact we were both fairly young when we first started dating, we did have to deal with a mild amount of external judgement at the time. This mainly came from two sources, each with slightly different sentiments: first was Heidi’s family whose feelings were that of concern and secondly were some of my friends whose opinions were portrayed more in the form of humorous teasing. In my experience of speaking to other couples in relationships with differing ages, these are the two sorts of external judgement that are most common in this situation.

[Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 3:28 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Many relationship gurus harp on about respect in relationships but it is not something that you can have with the flick of a switch… Respect from your partner is something that you earn over time. It is the key to building true friendships and it is also most certainly the key to building a solid, long-lasting relationship! It may take a while to build this solid foundation of respect but it only takes a minute to lose it all so it is useful to have some instructions to keep in mind as the relationship progresses. The following list contains ten ways to earn your partner’s complete respect…

1.) Have strong boundaries:

In a relationship, you want to clearly identify for yourself how you want to be treated and define what behaviour is acceptable and what is unacceptable early on. You don’t need to be ruthless with your values but the moment you let your partner walk over or manipulate you even once, is when you lose all respect. This should be a mutual setup where you are also willing to respect your partner’s boundaries, even if they differ from yours. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 at 4:55 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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The ego is the human-mind’s way of distinguishing itself from the selves of others and objects of its thought and although everyone possesses an ego to exist, the degree to which people let it meddle with their relationships varies considerably.

There are three main instances in romantic relationships where the ego is directly reacting to the situation and this article aims to explain each of those instances clearly so you can determine yourself just how deadly your ego is in your relationship…

How much do you like your partner?

It sounds silly to question how much you like your partner… You wouldn’t be with them if you didn’t like them, right?

Personal qualities and physical attributes go without saying… Humans have an innate intuition as well as a logical function regarding these two factors. What I’m referring to here is how much you like your partner on a deep, subconscious level. In other words, are you with your partner because you share a deep connection and it actively adds to your external happiness or are you with them to feel a more complete sense of self-worth? Humans have an inherent desire to feel loved so it’s not something that anyone should be ashamed to admit. It is worth thinking about though if you want to know if you are going to experience real love and everlasting happiness with your partner. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 at 8:44 am by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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I’d like to start off by saying that I do not condone cheating as a general practice but too many couples react far too cut and dry when they find out their partner has cheated, rather than sit back and analyse the actual root cause of the infidelity. My personal definition of cheating is quite concise so I already know how I am going to react if I am ever faced with the scenario… Rationally and within the context of the specific situation!

The fact of the matter is that if someone wants to cheat on you, although what I outlined in the popular article ‘The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating’ is a great ideal to pursue, there’s no one instantaneous thing you can do to passively stop them. You can however deal with it in a multitude of different ways.

In this article I will start by giving some definitions of what constitutes as cheating and then explain why if these are dishonoured there are a lot bigger issues at work than the actual act of cheating itself… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 10:36 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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As I have said before, arguments with a partner generally stem from not feeling loved, valued or respected enough. Humans are creatures of emotion and instances, so it is almost impossible to avoid arguments one hundred percent of the time.

The skill though is to recognise arguments early and if avoiding them is not possible then trying to move through them in the most amicable and beneficial way for your relationship is the number one priority. Below are a number of ways to deal with arguments in a relationship…

Misconceptions surrounding arguments in relationships:

Some people claim that arguments are “healthy in relationships” and others state that “you only argue with the people you love”. Whilst these have some truth to them, they are rationalising the problem from an extrinsic source.

The reason why someone would think that arguments are healthy in relationships is because they produce a profound spike of emotions. A heavy third of attraction is based around creating emotional spikes, and negative emotions in a relationship often SEEM better than neutral or passive emotions.

When someone refers to arguments being healthy, what they actually mean is that the emotional rollercoaster of feeling their partner cares and the bliss of the making-up period is conducive to the relationship as a whole. There are better ways of achieving this though and whilst a strong will and display of emotions is imperative to a long-lasting relationship, you want to always try to make them wholly positive emotions. You don’t have to argue to express your feelings or to have a ‘making-up’ period! [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 4:32 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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