A lot of people say, when put on the spot about dating someone specific, or when deciding to end a relationship, that they are just not “compatible” with this other person.

The truth is that compatibility is created and we can learn to be compatible with just about anyone.

It is the art of connecting with someone that we base this compatibility supposition on: some people connect with each other far more naturally than others, which is generally how we get into romantic relationships.

It is for this reason, that when a couple come to me, adamant on staying together and working on their relationship, that helping them to connect with each other is the number one priority. If you can positively connect with someone (and I will explain what I mean by positively connecting in this article) then the basis of a fulfilling relationship is already there… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 at 3:41 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating, Relationships.
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Whilst the general advice I give when dating or in the early stages of a new relationship is to ‘lead and guide the interactions’ and ‘bring them into your world’, some people take this far too literally when they are actually in a relationship. Doing these two things dogmatically, you will become the selfish, unreasonable partner.

Every healthy relationship needs compromise! Humans are extremely complex and varied creatures, so no matter how suited you feel you and your partner are, you will always have differing opinions on certain things. It is unlikely you will ever have someone who always confidently agrees with you and decidedly wants to do whatever you want to do and let’s be honest, how fun would that actually be! My standard rule for compromising is:

If something doesn’t hurt me or go against my core beliefs and principles then do it.

There is a lot more to a healthy compromise between a couple than this though and this article aims to break it down to its core components… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 6:12 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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January is a busy time in the world of relationships. It is a month that is traditionally teeming with resolutions and renewed self-discipline and so the cities are filled with singles determined to take control of their dating lives and couples wanting to refresh, enrich and repair their relationships.

It is a common period of reflection too and so over the last month I have been working with both men and women who are going through the process of reassessing their relationships either independently or with their partner.

Whilst this article won’t categorically tell you whether you should stay in your relationship or leave it, it will give you a few things to think about regarding whether to stay or leave and explain the best mentality to have regarding any decisions… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 21st, 2010 at 8:04 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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I would like to start by saying that I am not adamantly against marriage myself but that the committal of marriage should be done with a lot greater thought and awareness than most people seem to utilise. It’s no coincidence that divorce rates are so high when we are pressured by society to believe marriage is the correct course for all long-term relationships.

I personally would rather go through life having never been married but having experienced many fulfilling relationships that were right for me at the time than marry the wrong person out of some sort of commitment obligation.

This article will highlight ten reasons why marriages consistently fail and will hopefully give some food for thought for people who believe marriage is a top priority. I encourage you to discuss, argue or agree with any of the points in the comments section at the end of the article… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 at 8:26 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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I know that my girlfriend loves me very much but there’s still something acutely powerful, blissfully reassuring and downright indomitable about hearing Heidi utter those magical three words to me.

I’ve worked hard over the past few years to rid myself of any negative emotions and anxieties and be able to control my emotions at will, yet I truly believe that the only emotion that cannot be suppressed is love!

That’s fine if your love for someone is equally reciprocated but what if it is not? And even if it is reciprocated, does the intensity fluctuate over time?

This article will introduce some new theories I have been working on surrounding love and how to manage what is ostensibly the most powerful emotion in the world… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 8:23 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Today’s update is a practical assignment that will have a positive effect on many aspects of your life. If you’ve been following my twitter profile recently then you will have noticed that the lead up to this challenge revolves around thinking about the best compliments you have ever been given and how you felt when you received them. If you haven’t responded to that yet then please add the best compliment you have ever been given in the comments section at the end of this article. The responses I have received so far have highlighted the variety of positive emotions that I was expecting.

The following complimenting challenge takes very little time out of your daily routine (in fact it is incorporated directly into it) and will have a profound effect on both your dating life and your relationships… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Dating, Relationships.
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This post is a follow-up to the article ‘How likely your partner is to cheat – part 1’ and consists of a uniquely designed cascading diagram that will determine how likely someone is to cheat in a relationship. Without further ado I present you the diagram, followed by some brief explanations of some of the key features…

The diagram below should be read from top to bottom as a series of steps, in descending order of importance: [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Saturday, October 31st, 2009 at 11:50 am by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Men and women who have been cheated on in the past will usually be able to look back and pinpoint certain forewarnings in their partner’s behaviour and develop their own reasons for why it happened. There is a tendency to ignore any of the real relational reasons behind it though and to instead frivolously load all the blame on the cheating partner. Every action has causation and it’s only by understanding and being aware of the causation that will allow you to prevent or deal with what comes of it… in this case, cheating!

I’ve written previously about ‘The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating’ and why ‘Cheating on a partner does not matter’ but a useful thing to know before committing yourself to someone in the form of a monogamous relationship is how likely are they to cheat on you at any point along the way.

There are some people in relationships who in the back of their minds are scared stiff that their partner will cheat on them and will have already imposed strict consequences for finding out that they have. Whilst you never want to turn into a neurotic relationship detective by probing and testing your partner’s fidelity at every opportunity, knowing some of the causes for cheating will ease any concern and help you to focus on the more positive aspects of a relationship.

This article will list three ways that dictate how likely your partner is to cheat… [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 4:53 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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“I think we should take a break!”

It’s the phrase that everyone in a relationship dreads to hear from their girlfriend or boyfriend and rightly so! Going on a break is rarely as innocent as it sounds and is indubitably the result of one or many problems manifesting in a relationship.

If a couple are going through a bad patch in their relationship then going on a break seems like an easy temporary solution for a confusing situation. As this article will explain, it can end up being either the inspiration for rectifying the relationship or it can be the immediate demise of the relationship. It depends solely on how it is approached and the real reasoning behind it!

This article will list a few common reasons for wanting to go on a break along with advice for both people involved before offering some alternative routes of action that stem from more assertive behaviour than what going on a break represents…

Reasons for going on a break:

The ultimatum of going on a break is rarely a mutual decision… but it is often a mutual feeling! At the very least it is evidence of someone taking CONTROL over problems in their relationship and even if there is one notable event that acts as a catalyst for the decision, the thoughts and feelings of going on a break have probably been brewing for some time. [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 6:01 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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Humans are social creatures and as a side effect we have developed several hard-wired survival techniques. The ability to lie is one of those, although that is not to say that it is the best technique to succeed in modern society, let alone relationships!

I was recently interviewed by an online publication on ‘the benefits of lying in relationships’ (a loaded title if ever there was one) but it did get me thinking intently about why couples really lie to each other. The truth is that however honest a couple say they are there is always going to be one or two things that can be construed as dishonest by the other person. The question is where do trivial lies cross over into damaging lies?

This article will explain the different types of lying, the reasons why people lie in relationships and then discuss some pressing consequences surrounding these…

The different types of lying:

There are three main types of lie, each varying in intensity, and what is right and wrong for you will largely be based on your own moral upbringing and development.

The three main types of lie in a relationship are: [Continue reading this post...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 5:45 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed under Relationships.
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