Before reviewing the articles from the last six months since the last review, I would like to quickly thank everyone who has read, shared and commented on any of my articles so far. Notable regular readers and contributors include Elena (if you’re a dog-lover then make sure you check out her website ‘Too Kool Doggies’), Joan, Eva, Pyrax, Dean, Fluffosaur/Starsparkle, Jon, some cute Canadian chick I know and everyone else!!

Without further ado, here are all the articles from the last six months…

The first six month review can be found HERE.

Relationship and dating articles:

The number one relationship killer (4 comments)

This article outlines the one thing that leads to the downfall of most modern relationships. It is the dominant factor for almost all of the conceivably bad things that can happen in one. You’ll have to click on the link to find out what it is!

Approach a woman and fall in love – The story of how I met Heidi (7 comments)

As the title describes, this is the story of the unique way that I met my long-term girlfriend Heidi several years ago. It is also a unique article in the fact that it is the first time I have invited a guest-writer to contribute… After I tell my side of the story, Heidi gives her take on events, so you get a detailed insight into how men and women react differently when first meeting in this way.

Topics to avoid with your girlfriend or boyfriend (5 comments)

Whilst this article does give three clear topics to accompany the title, it may require some prior reading of some of my previous articles written on ‘the ego’ to be fully understood. This article contains far from strict advice but is useful for people who feel they must know every little detail about their partner and their partner’s past.

Using Kegel exercises to improve sexual performance (8 comments)

This article introduces a wildly misunderstood sexual practice that can be used to improve sexual performance. It goes into brief detail about what Kegel exercises are, how they can improve sexual performance and then most importantly, how to actually do the exercises.

Lying in a relationship (11 comments)

This article explains three different types of lying, the reasons why people lie in relationships and then discusses some pressing consequences surrounding these. There is also an interesting video linked to by Elena amongst the discussions in the comments section about techniques for spotting lies.

Is going on a break good or bad? (8 comments)

This article lists a few common reasons for wanting to go on a break and then discusses some of the practical and psychological issues surrounding the topic. A worthwhile read if the topic is relevant, or potentially relevant to you.

How to get out of the friend zone (7 comments)

This article dissects the psychology behind having romantic feelings for a friend before describing the only reliable techniques to starting a relationship with someone who you are firmly in the ‘friend zone’ with.

A fundamental flaw in dating and why you should never stop meeting people (6 comments)

This article suggests changing your mindset whilst in a relationship so you can be just as sociable as if you were single. This is a useful article to read whatever your current relationship status is.

How likely your partner is to cheat – part 1 (12 comments)

This article is part one of what is, in my opinion, my best article series to date. It gives a detailed account of knowing how likely your partner is to cheat. There are some decent discussions in the comments section too.

How likely your partner is to cheat – part 2 (8 comments)

This is the follow up to the above article and contains an original diagram that can accurately predict how likely your partner is to cheat. This is highly recommended viewing!

The complimenting challenge for both singles and couples (10 comments)

This article introduces a new format in the form of a reader challenge, based around the art of complimenting people. It is not particularly hard or time-consuming to do, yet is very rewarding. Please share your experiences in the comments section.

Sleeping with someone new for the first time (11 comments)

This article explains how men and women differ emotionally when deciding to sleep with someone for the first time, whilst giving general thoughts on how to use these differing feelings to have smoother progressions in any relationships.

Managing the most powerful emotion in the world – The love equilibrium (11 comments)

This article introduces some of my most cutting edge theories on love and how to manage what is ostensibly the most powerful emotion in the world. This article is the basis for a lot of upcoming articles I will be doing so it is definitely worth reading.

Can men and women really be just friends? (12 comments)

This article is aimed at invoking reader discussion in the comments section, as everyone has their own opinion on this topic. I do share my own thoughts throughout though.

Dealing with approach anxiety (7 comments)

This article discusses a topic that I became very good at breaking down and dealing with whilst working solely as a dating coach. It contains lots of information about what is an extremely common issue.

10 reasons not to get married (10 comments)

This controversial article gives food for thought towards what has become a tradition in most people’s lives. Read the ten points and then add your thoughts to the comments section at the end.

My personal path to a fulfilling relationship + an exciting update (12 comments)

The main part of this update is the video I created that shows some of my development through meeting lots of people and finally meeting my girlfriend Heidi. The e-book mentioned in this update is still very much in the works and will get finalised and released at some point.

Should I stay or leave my relationship (12 comments)

This is another highly recommended article with lots of insights, reader discussion and a useful diagram.

Valentine’s Day 2010 advice (12 comments)

Every year I am slightly saddened by how little decent advice there is for what may or may not be an important day to you. This article gives some ideas for Valentine’s Day, whether single, in a relationship, or anywhere in between. The advice is applicable for times other than just Valentine’s Day so it is worth checking out.

Compromising in a relationship (6 comments)

This article discusses and breaks down an extremely important aspect of relationships: compromising!

Connecting in a relationship and interacting using frame theory (6 comments)

This article is somewhat related to the previous one but introduces a new theory that is the basis for connecting fully with a partner. There is also useful information related to meeting and interacting with members of the opposite sex if that is relevant to you.

So that wraps up the first year of Sparklife.info. Thank-you once again to everyone who has read, shared and commented on this website during the past year and I assure you the content is going to continue to develop so please spread the word and keep visiting yourself.

Also, I would love to hear what your favourite topics have been so far (or a specific favourite article if you have one) in the comments section below, along with any ideas or suggestions you have to help me make this an even more valuable resource…

Much love,

Sam

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Related posts:

1. Sparklife.info six month review – every article listed
2. Sparklife.info SWOT analysis
3. Sparklife.info Introduction

This article will share a few ideas for February 14th, whether you are single, in a monogamous relationship, or anywhere in between…

Valentine’s Day if you are single:

A lot of single people try to ignore or steer clear of Valentine’s Day altogether but it is actually one of the best days of the year to meet people of the opposite sex.

The last Valentine’s Day that I was single I went to a bar with a few male friends and it was the most ridiculously easy night to meet women ever! It is reasonable to assume that anyone who is not with someone of the opposite sex is single and you can therefore be far more direct with your approach.

Obviously it depends on your personality and the type of venue you attend but I had a lot of success with role-plays revolving around Valentine’s Day. Things such as approaching a group of females and acting offended that you didn’t receive a card and flowers from them, or simply going up and saying “Happy Valentine’s Day” in a cheeky way will both open up conversations.

Although Valentine’s Day 2010 falls on a Sunday, I’m sure there will still be groups of singles heading out to have fun on what can otherwise be a rather depressing day. If this kind of proactive approach seems scary then there are many organised singles events during Valentine’s weekend in major cities so see what is on and get involved!

One other fun thing that I just remembered was a few years ago on Valentine’s Day when I sent every female in my phone a text message saying “thanks for the flowers ‘secret admirer’ ”. The responses I got were hilarious and started up conversations with women who I might have otherwise lost contact with. Give it a try and let us know what responses you get!

Valentine’s Day if you are in a relationship:

I adhere to the advice that you shouldn’t need a special occasion to dote on your partner or give gifts and surprises. I myself enjoy doing thoughtful things when I want to throughout the year to express my feelings to Heidi.

Having said that, Valentine’s Day has become a modern day litmus test for love, so unless you and your partner have specifically agreed not to make a fuss of the occasion (and make sure that the feelings really are mutual if so) then you should make the effort to be creative.

Cliché gifts such as flowers and chocolates, although still delivering a message, do not have the same level of thought to them as other gestures. You basically want to do something that makes your partner feel special! This doesn’t have to be anything expensive so use your imagination for something fun that you can do TOGETHER. Think along the lines of romantic, sexual, thoughtful and homemade.

I have a wealth of ideas myself and already have some wonderful things planned for this Valentine’s Day but unfortunately Heidi will probably read this so to preserve the surprise element, you will have to e-mail me if you want to know some of my ideas.

One thing I have already done that she knows about is I have booked a special meal out for the two of us. It’s not a particularly original idea but it was done in a fairly original and fun way, which you can see in pictorial form here.

Last year I wrote a humorous yet romantic poem on burnt, coffee-stained paper and cooked Heidi a special Valentines themed meal.

There are hundreds of different things you can do that don’t have to involve the commercial side of Valentine’s Day but still make your partner feel special and loved, so start thinking about things you can do to surprise your other half as soon as possible!

Valentine’s Day if you are casually seeing one or more than one person:

The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it forces men and women to reveal their true intentions, so if you are just starting out in a new relationship, or are casually seeing someone then it can make things slightly tricky.

I have previously talked (and plan to write a comprehensive article soon) about how to frame certain aspects of a relationship, mainly regarding commitment and attitudes. With Valentine’s Day, it is easy to make your intentions seem ambiguous or insincere by the way that you act on February 14th.

Be careful that you are giving the right kind of message by how you act around this time. If you don’t want to make someone think they are your exclusive girlfriend for example, then don’t go over the top doing girlfriend and boyfriend type stuff.

There is obviously a vast spectrum of how serious a relationship is, so think carefully about where you want that relationship to go before deciding what you do or do not do on Valentine’s Day.

I hope everyone has a really fun day whatever you are planning and if you have any ideas or thoughts of your own then please share them in the comments section below.

Much love,

Sam

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Check the archives in the sidebar for more articles.

If you are not a follower of my twitter profile then you may be wondering where this week’s update is. I decided to have a short break from updates for a few weeks so you can all enjoy your festive seasons and have time to apply some of the advice I have given throughout 2009. The ‘Best of’ page has probably been updated since you last saw it so that is a good place to find some of the best articles on Sparklife.info.

Christmas is a great time for improving our dating lives and enriching our relationships, so try and make the extra effort to both socialise and appreciate loved ones over the holiday period!

Another reason for this short Christmas hiatus is that I am busy working on a comprehensive e-book for you lovely people, to be released early in the New Year. I don’t want to reveal too much yet but it will incorporate a lot of the ideas I discuss on this website, whilst containing completely new content. As with everything on this website, it will also be 100% free with no advertising or up-selling at all!

My personal path to a fulfilling relationship:

As a further festive treat, I have created a four-minute video that will let you understand my personal path to a fulfilling relationship a bit better.

As you know, I advocate a very proactive attitude towards dating and as a consequence, I created the following four-step process for finding the perfect partner:

1. Know what you are looking for [related article]
2. Meet a LOT of people [related article]
3. Experience different relationships [related article]
4. Repeat until you find that truly special person [related article]

Below is a video of my personal path through this process: [the video may not show up in some e-mail or RSS clients, in which case please view it here]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Much love,

Sam

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Check the archives in the sidebar for more articles.

I’m sure most of you reading this can claim to have platonic friends of the opposite sex but can you be certain that the feeling is completely mutual? In my experience there are only two characteristics that will allow two people to be void of this whole theory, which I will explain shortly.

I predict that there are going to be many differing opinions and examples for this topic, so whilst I will share some of my own insights, I want you to have a chance to share yours too. Please further this discussion by leaving a comment at the end of this article with your thoughts on whether you think men and women can ever truly be friends; I’m really interested in what other people think about this…

Can men and women really be just friends?

As mentioned in the introduction, the two personal characteristics that could allow two people of the opposite sex to be genuine friends are people who are in completely fulfilling relationships or people with an abundance mentality towards dating. Notice that these are two instances that would void someone of having any form of sexual frustration.

I have to admit that until I myself developed and starting living with an abundance mentality towards dating several years ago, I too sometimes had trouble distinguishing friendship and attraction.

On a basic level, deep friendship is similar to a romantic relationship but without any physicality or sexual attraction. Based on this hypothesis, genuine friendship can only occur if sexual attraction is nonexistent. Both recognition of this sexual attraction and the desire for it can differ substantially between the man and the woman in question, which is where confusion or conflicting views come into play. I talked about this particular scenario in the recent article ‘How to get out of the friend zone’.

There’s a great scene in the film ‘When Harry Met Sally’ where Harry (played by Billy Crystal) and Sally (played by Meg Ryan) are discussing this issue of whether men and women can be just friends. The clip can be viewed below:

Please share your thoughts:

I now hand the discussion over to you as I am really interested in what you think about this!

Do you think that men and women can happily be just friends? Do you have examples or cases of this theory working or not working in your own life?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and will of course respond to every comment.

Much love,

Sam

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Check the archives in the sidebar for more articles.

Sam on the approach:

It was a typically balmy afternoon in Devon, South England and I was doing what British students do best during a weekday afternoon… loitering in town!

On my inversely gargantuan ‘to do list’ was the mundane task of purchasing a plain white t-shirt for an upcoming break-dancing performance, yet I was in a particularly excitable mood that afternoon… My degree was coming to an end and my leap into the big, scary real-world was imminent!

At this stage in my life, I was already very good at approaching and attracting women in bars and clubs and was already getting substantial work and seminar slots as a dating coach in London. Even so, you’re only good at what you know… and meeting women in less social environments such as the daytime was something I hadn’t put too much thought to at the time.

My excitable mood on that fateful Tuesday was heightened further on entering Primark (a cheap and cheerful English clothes shop) and seeing two attractive female friends of mine from the University. They were excited to see me and belted towards me to give me a rapturous hug… Little did I know at the time that this would play an unintentionally effective part in what was about to be a big moment in my life!

The actual shop where me and Heidi first met!

Roughly eight minutes later (to the nearest eight minutes) I was ready to leave the shop and as I staggered through the exit with my brand spanking new white t-shirt, something caught my eye beyond my shoulder. It was a demure looking girl thumbing through some colourful dresses near the exit. She was dressed and made up fairly plainly but her natural beauty shone through… She had a unique cuteness that had me momentarily fixated. My body was still on its way out the door but I knew I would regret it if I did not approach this stunning woman before me. “I’ll be back in a second” I quickly uttered to my friend before I could talk myself out of it and boldly strolled over to her.

I was very comfortable around women at this stage in my life yet I still had a stomach full of butterflies as I reached this lady directly and delivered words to the effect of, “you’re really cute and I had to come over and say hi”.

A short exchange of playful chat about our respective shopping excursions is all that was required to let each other know that we were both interesting people and worth getting to know. We exchanged numbers. I remember Heidi (I knew her name by now woohoo) was apprehensive about giving me her number at the time. Normally in this situation I would make sure I get the woman’s number so that I know it is real and also so I am in control of what happens next. In this instance though, I could tell that she was just being cautious and would still contact me… Most rules in dating are not set in stone!

We parted ways and I left Primark gleefully… My excitable mood had just become a little bit more so…

Heidi on the approach:

I was shattered after a gruelling dance session at college, so thought a spot of retail therapy might help. After a few minutes, two cute guys walked through the entrance of the shop, so naturally I had a little look. One of them was carrying an expensive gift bag. As it was the day before Valentine’s Day, I assumed it was a present for his girlfriend; “that’s sweet”, I thought! The two of them then started talking to these two gorgeous girls. Damn! I definitely wasn’t in with a chance now… not that I would have with a stranger in Primark anyway! I stopped daydreaming and continued shopping.

A little while later, I heard a voice behind me; “Excuse me”… I turned around and nearly DIED. It was one of the guys I had noticed earlier; the cuter one of the two I might add. I felt my cheeks instantly turn a beetroot colour and feebly answered “Yes?”

“You look like you have a good personality”. What a line!! It was ultimate cheese, but I loved it in any case. We chatted for a while, my face becoming more like a tomato every time I spoke. He eventually asked for my number… a guy in Primark asked ME for my number! I didn’t give it to him though; I took his instead, I guess so I could figure out what to do.

I wanted to tell someone about what had just happened. The first person I could think of was my friend who worked in a nearby shop, so I headed there. I hurried towards the counter where my friend was working, and then I heard “Are you stalking me now?”

Oh gosh!! Primark guy and his friend were just ahead of me and had spotted me behind them… now it’s going to look like I was following them!!!

Wow, I remember that day more vividly than I thought I did. I think I can vouch for most women when I say that it definitely makes you feel good when someone approaches you like this. I think the reason it was so surreal though is the fact that for one it was in the middle of the day, and two it wasn’t in a club or bar where approaching people is deemed more acceptable. I definitely think that should change though! For the rest of the day I had a permanent grin on my face!

What to learn from this meeting:

When I tell this story of how I met Heidi, people always tell me that they wouldn’t be confident enough to approach a stranger like that. The first thing to remember is that there’s absolutely nothing to lose in this situation: if I had approached Heidi and it went badly, it would have been a fun learning experience, whereas on the flipside I’ve met someone who has gone on to be the love of my life. Had I not approached her, I wouldn’t have even had that chance!

Heidi’s revelations that she had noticed me before I had approached her set off another bunch of stark realisations… Women are actually a lot keener for you to approach them than you think and doing something spontaneous and unique like this is going to at the very least, make someone’s day!

It seems our respective accounts of what I initially said when I approached Heidi differ slightly. Heidi is probably correct with her version, as the adrenalin rush at the time probably has me confused. The point to take away here is that it doesn’t matter what I had said as long as I made her smile and got into a short conversation.

The last point to make regarding confidence is that showing signs of nervousness in a situation like this is actually a positive as it makes the interaction sincere. Although women don’t have the same approach anxiety that men do, they can appreciate a guy who puts his intentions and balls on the line, especially if it is to unashamedly compliment them!

The relationship developing:

So all this happened over two years ago now and we have been in a happy and fulfilling relationship ever since. Aside from how we met, the main thing we both agree on is that the reason our relationship works so well is that we both make a conscious effort on our own development as well as our development as a couple, and prevent ourselves becoming complacent with one another.

Second to this, we always make sure that we have our own lives but that our time together is always fun.

None of this could have happened if I had continued walking out that shop door on that day several years ago, so remember… That person you like the look of who just walked past you COULD be the love of your life… Do something about it!

Much love,

Sam

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Check the archives in the sidebar for more articles.

• 30 unique articles!
• 247 comments!
• 149 smiley faces! …Make that 150!

It has been an immensely enjoyable six months, where I have developed and expanded a lot of my own theories regarding dating and relationships and I hope you have all enjoyed reading what I have written so far.

For this week’s update, to give you all a chance to catch up, I have decided to list every article posted by me here at Sparklife.info so far, so you can check out ones you may not have read yet…

Relationship and dating articles:

Sparklife.info Introduction

• This first article introduces a bit of background on my experience in teaching within the field of dating and relationships as well as some insights into my initial thoughts on relationship theory.

10 things you can do right now to improve your love life – part 1 (5 comments)

• Some nice general pointers for things you can do to not only improve your love life but also improve yourself in general. I still have to remind myself to do some of these ten things occasionally.

10 things you can do right now to improve your love life – part 2 (2 comments)

• The second part to this article contains five really useful tips and the sections on smiling and remembering people’s names (a discussion that is explained further in the comments section of the article) are particularly useful.

Dispelling male myths about dating – part 1 (2 comments)

• Written in a fairly blunt style but nonetheless does contain a few interesting points. Of particular interest is a lengthy discussion in the comments section with an intelligent female reader named Flo (arguably better than the article itself).

Dispelling male myths about dating – part 2

• This article continues on from the first part of dispelling male myths about dating. The style is somewhat blunt again but the points about ‘just being yourself’ and ‘handling rejection’ are worth reading.

Starting a relationship in the best possible way (4 comments)

• My current writing style is already starting to develop here and this first relationship article contains some great general relationship advice. The metaphor for a relationship that I describe in this article I am also notably proud of. Two of my regular and favourite commenters also make their first appearance here.

Steps for finding the perfect partner (9 comments)

• This is the first article I wrote that still consistently gets views and it contains several practical steps for finding the perfect partner.

The perfect first date (2 comments)

• This article dissects three common dates and explains why they are not ideal and then reveals what is the best first date to plan. Also discussed is how and when to kiss on a first date. Another of my favourite commenters adds a good point about kissing in the comments section.

The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating (15 comments)

• This article remains one of my most popular articles to date, which is pleasing as it is also one of my personal favourites. The structure of first going through common ways couples deal with suspicions of cheating and then finally revealing the only way to prevent your partner cheating works well here. There are several interesting discussions in the comments section of this article too.

Text message flirting guidelines (14 comments)

• Text flirting is one of my favourite dating topics and is something I seem to have gained a notoriety for being good at across the internet and various forums. This article gives some general guidelines for text flirting, which is a topic I intend to write more about soon with lots more real-world examples. The discussions with some female readers in the comments section are worth reading too.

How to get through bad patches in a relationship (9 comments)

• This article explains the main cause of bad emotions in a relationship and then proceeds to give some practical steps for how to get through a ‘bad patch’; highly recommended.

Why porn is bad and evil (9 comments)

• This remains one of Sparklife.info’s most shared articles using the built in email form and I think this is due to the slightly controversial theme; it is a particularly thought-provoking article! There are some interesting perspectives from a female reader in the comments section too.

Book review: Alec Greven – How to talk to girls (10 comments)

• This is the first product review on the website, which reviews a short dating manual written by a nine year old American kid! The review brings up some interesting points about what kids are being taught about relationships these days. Included is a cute video interview with the author too.

Dealing with your girlfriend getting hit on (79 comments)

• One of the most popular articles on Sparklife.info and by far the most commented on article. This is definitely worth checking out if you have ever had feelings of jealousy concerning your partner. There are lots of questions and answers in the comments section that a lot of people can probably relate to.

Managing a long distance relationship (5 comments)

• This is a more specialised article that may not be relevant to everyone. Having said that, most relationships experience time apart at some point so there are some good general relationship tips inside even if your relationship isn’t categorically ‘long distance’.

Sparklife.info SWOT analysis (6 comments)

• This is an interim article that details some of the goals of the website. You get to find out a little bit more about me personally here too.

The ONLY reason you should stay in a relationship (11 comments)

• ‘Are you COMPLETELY satisfied with your current relationship?’ is the tagline for this article and it follows the format of explaining common reasons why people stay in relationships that they know aren’t perfect for them before revealing the only reason you should stay in a relationship; highly recommended reading!

Tips for approaching men or women in everyday life (5 comments)

• This topic is known to be one of my specialities working as a dating coach and this article introduces the idea of approaching strangers in a way that most people can hopefully relate to.

The most important principle in dating (8 comments)

• Continuing on the dating advice this article explains an extremely important principle in dating and explains some ways in which to implement it.

10 ways to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend (22 comments)

• At the time of writing this article I remember being really busy with some coaching commitments and felt this article was a bit rushed. As a consequence it is a rather big surprise that this remains my joint most popular article in terms of views. This article is quick and easy to read.

Dealing with arguments in a relationship (24 comments)

• One of the most commented on articles at Sparklife.info. My writing style harnessed a new edge here and I like the way practical advice and theory are interwoven in this article.

Cheating on a partner does not matter (6 comments)

• This is my personal favourite article on the website. I hope the title doesn’t deter people from reading as I think everyone with relationship experience can get something out of this.

Movies to watch on a date (20 comments)

• This is a fun dating article that as well as giving movie recommendations, talks about how to act on dates in general and has an informative graph plotting attraction against emotions. There are lots of pleasant reader opinions in the comments section too.

Do you have an ego in your relationship? (10 comments)

• This is highly regarded as the best article on the website. It took a long time to write and contains lots of insightful ideas on the ego; highly recommended!

Getting your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more sexually expressive (13 comments)

• This is the first wholly sexual article on the website and it proved to be a popular addition in the comments section with readers furthering some of the ideas mentioned.

The best job for becoming more sociable (10 comments)

• Hopefully readers realise that this article is more about the principle of the suggested job rather than being about the suggested job itself. This article is useful for people wanting to expand their social circles.

10 ways to earn your partner’s respect (10 comments)

• Another list style article that is worth reading to make sure you receive the respect you deserve.

Age gaps in relationships (16 comments)

• This is a thought-provoking article that spawned several interesting reader opinions in the comments section. This is a very subjective topic so please feel free to add your own opinions into the mix.

Nice guy or bad boy – find the perfect balance (6 comments)

• This article breaks down the differences between ‘nice guys’ and ‘bad boys’ in an easy to understand way and explains how one can utilise that knowledge to be the best version of the two.

The basics of phone sex (12 comments)

• An introduction to why phone sex is great in a relationship and some tips on how to initiate and lead it. The comments section includes some practical examples at a reader’s request.

So that wraps up this six month review of Sparklife.info. Thank-you to everyone who has read, shared and commented on this website during that time and I assure you the content is going to continue to develop so please spread the word and keep visiting yourself.

Also, I would love to hear what everyone’s favourite article has been so far… Please share your favourite article with everyone in the comments section below…

Much love,

Sam

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Related posts:

1. Sparklife.info one year review – every article listed
2. Sparklife.info SWOT analysis
3. Sparklife.info Introduction

A SWOT analysis is a strategic marketing term that stands for ‘Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats’ and I thought I would share what I wrote with you lovely people, so that you can get a better idea of what Sparklife.info strives to be…

Mission statement and goals:

Simply put, my mission statement is ‘to help others achieve everlasting relationship happiness through the process of conscious dating’. I’ve written more about this in my first post but it saddens me to see how many people there are out there either in unhealthy relationships, or not getting what they want in their dating lives. If some of my advice on these pages can help even a few people get what they deserve in their relationships, I will have achieved what I intended to.

On a more personal level, getting my thoughts written down helps me to refine and expand my theories, which helps both me and everyone else who comes across this website looking for advice.

Strengths:

The thing that I have over a lot of other people in the same niche is real-world experience. Having worked passionately for so many years as a dating coach and with hundreds of clients in real world situations, I know exactly what is and what is not effective in creating attraction and further down the line, finding true love!

It mildly frustrates me when I come across a website that gives out fallacious dating advice that clearly hasn’t been tested by anyone. The sad part being that there will be some poor soul who will blindly follow such advice like “approach a girl by offering to buy her a drink” or “strictly wait two days to call after a date”.

Weaknesses:

By far my biggest weakness is a lack of formal recognition or qualification. Although I have a lot more experience and knowledge than most practicing relationship experts, the lack of a ‘PhD’ after my name could discredit some of my work at first introduction.

I’ve actually had several e-mails since this site’s launch from random visitors saying words to the effect of, “at first I thought this was just another charlatan giving out unsolicited advice, until I got round to reading some of your stuff and I noticed the distinguished dating companies you’ve worked with”. Not everyone will stick around long enough to discover the latter part of that sentiment.

I’ve actually strongly considered and done in-depth research into getting more specific qualifications for myself, along the lines of psychology or counselling qualifications. The reason for my apprehension for enrolling in any of the courses I have found thus far is that further research into their syllabuses reveals that what is being taught, I either know to a greater depth already through personal study, or is irrelevant to my pursuits. I would literally just be doing it for the title, which to me seems futile.

Opportunities:

Through posting regularly on Sparklife.info, I will not only be improving my writing style over time, allowing me to explain my theories more eloquently but it will also allow me to reach a much greater audience than any work I do in person.

Threats:

It’s been a slight concern for me as to how personal I want to be with my writings. Whilst on the one hand, I understand that people close to me won’t appreciate me being fully revealing on topics that include them personally, I advocate the notion of being fully honest and expressive with my ideas, without holding back information that might be beneficial to someone else. This is something that I will simply decide responsibly as I go along.

Strategies and action plan:

The short-term plan is to write and upload a unique and thought-provoking article to Sparklife.info three times a week. After collating about four year’s worth of notes and adding my latest ideas to the mix, I have a backlog of over one hundred article ideas that will hopefully all get a chance to be written and be useful to the people reading them.

The thing I love most about this medium is the feedback I can get from anyone who stumbles across this website and so far I have received some extremely heart-warming emails from people as far away as Australia about how much they enjoy the site. I encourage anyone else who has opinions based on or opposing anything I write to express them and I really appreciate any comments that I receive.

Service will resume as normal tomorrow with a brand spanking new article.

Much love,

Sam

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Related posts:

1. Sparklife.info Introduction
2. Sparklife.info six month review – every article listed
3. Sparklife.info one year review – every article listed

'How to Talk to Girls' by Alec Greven

Thoughts prior to reading:

Now you would immediately think that it is obvious to take this boy’s advice with a large pinch of salt and that it is more intended to be a comical story from a cute kid rather than a literary masterpiece. Upon reading the blurb on the back cover, it implies that this book is actually intended to contain guided advice though; “from eight to eighty… read this book and then you’re ready.”

Although still sceptical, I opened the first page with a renewed optimism that it could contain some pearls of wisdom… It is a published book after all…

The advice that it gives:

This is a very short book and so ten minutes later I was finished. I was pleased to see that it obviously hasn’t been edited too harshly and the childlike style is evident in the way it is written. Coupled with some amusing illustrations, it was actually a very enjoyable read. It is only when you take a second thought at the actual content that the more harmful side effects of the book’s advice emerge.

One of the primary points he makes at the beginning of the book is, “life is hard, move on!” Whilst this appears to be good advice for people of all ages, it is not as simple to apply. This goes for most of the good points that he makes… They are audaciously vague in their conveyance. Points such as ‘Don’t act desperate’ seem useful but the book lacks any practical application, even for someone who probably hasn’t experienced what he is preaching.

It is some of his more glaring points that disappoint me though, as they are an exact replica of modern society’s damaging portrayal of males Vs females. The first of which is when young Alec Greven states, “You must accept that women have all the power”.

Although the bulk of society is governing for an equal standing between the sexes, references like this just go to show that kids are still being taught sexist and mildly misogynistic morals.

Another noxious viewpoint is when Alec Greven writes about not bothering with ‘pretty girls’, once again with very stereotypical references; “It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have the big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewellery.”

He continues, “The best choice is a regular girl… Pretty girls are cold-hearted when it comes to boys.”

Although this is all very cutesy coming from a nine year old boy, it’s not a very healthy mindset to have towards women, even more so at such a young age. The main reason why these ‘pretty girls’ often end up with more insecurities and more attitude towards men in later life is because they are judged so chiefly on their looks whilst growing up and treated differently as a consequence.

The last piece of advice that Alec Greven gives that I think is damaging is, “if the girl is wild, then just act like her.”

I know once again I shouldn’t take his advice so literally, but to promote such a lack of authenticity at such a young age is surely pernicious towards a boy’s development.

Exploitation of children:

Content aside, another thing that doesn’t particularly fly with me is the clear exploitation of a young boy who apparently wrote the book as an unrelated school project, before the media got hold of it and gave it explosive exposure.

I recently wrote an article for a parenting brochure on ‘teaching kids the importance of being rewarded for the value they can offer’ (I don’t have children of my own, it was a random opportunity I was given) and this goes against a lot of those principals.

Whilst Alec Greven has no doubt made a fine profit from his book (assuming he is allowed access to it), he is being encouraged and praised for offering unqualified and potentially harmful advice.

Conclusion:

To conclude this review, ‘How to Talk to Girls’ (although extremely short in length for its cover price) makes a fun novelty gift for someone who doesn’t take things too seriously. As far as buying this as a genuine resource for a child (which it seems a fair number of parents have done), I would recommend teaching them relationship morals and values yourself.

Much love,

Sam

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1. Sparklife.info six month review – every article listed

Well this website has been rather a long time coming. In fact I’ve had this domain name for well over a year now and whilst it has been used as a hub for a few other projects during this time, a relationships resource is what I’ve always intended for it; I merely wanted to make sure that I was qualified enough to really give guided advice on the subject first.

A Bit of background on me:

For about two years now I have worked with the world-wide LEADING Company in terms of dating science: Lovesystems, formerly known as The Mystery Method Corp (although what they are teaching now is widely evolved from what people know of the old company). They have been featured on primetime US television and in top publications. I have just returned from helping teach another bootcamp with them in London where we taught and helped a number of students to bring out their best and most attractive selves, simultaneously helping them enhance their dating lives. As rewarding as once again this weekend was, I have decided to expand from working solely as a dating coach. Whilst there is a considerable amount of prestige and money in this industry and what companies like Lovesystems are teaching at the moment is groundbreaking and really helping a wealth of guys across the globe, I feel I have personally conquered all there is to achieve in the ‘dating science’ sector of personal development and want to expand on that niche.

Where I am at now:

I’ve been in a monogamous and loving relationship for coming up to two years now and believe it or not, that is actually extremely rare for a ‘dating expert’. A lot of gurus in the field base so much of their identity and ego on ‘picking up women’ that it is pretty hard to break loose from that persona and settle down, and when they do, some guys find the temptation and allure of more girls too much. This is not to insult any of the amazing, internationally-acclaimed coaches I have worked alongside, who are all amazingly successful and charismatic friends of mine. Contrary to what I believe, a lot of successful people believe that the pinnacle of relationship mastery is being able to happily maintain several fulfilling relationships, openly and honestly at the same time, and that is fine.

So these realisations have led me to having spent the last eighteen months learning EVERYTHING I can on the subject of relationships, from absorbing every related book I can get my hands on, to testing and experiencing what works with my own relationship.

Whereas dating science can be very structured and specific, relationship advice is a lot broader, without so many ‘right answers’. Relationships are on the same timeline as dating, just a lot further along it, so obviously there are extensive variables involved, including emotions and life issues. The main catalyst for me really delving in to this area of personal development is to thwart the HORRIBLE advice that guys and girls alike are fed, mainly through mass-media and pop-culture, such as glossy magazines. I frequently buy a number of both men and women’s lifestyle magazines for both entertainment value and research, and constantly find myself cringing at some of the advice and techniques they advocate towards dating and relationships.

The purpose and goals of Sparklife.info:

The reason I have now decided to pursue and obsess myself with the understanding of relationships is partly due to the natural progression from dating coaching that I mentioned, and also so I can further enrich my own relationship. I don’t claim to always be doing everything right, but what I am always is AWARE and I strive to make my relationship the happiest and most fulfilling it can be for both me and my wonderful girlfriend. If you are in a relationship and aren’t willing to do the same thing with yours, you have to ask yourself why you are really in that relationship!

Although I have implied that this website will be solely for the education of relationships, I still love the theories surrounding meeting and connecting with other people, specifically members of the opposite sex. It would be a waste for me to ditch five years worth of exhaustive knowledge regarding dating science and social dynamics and so I will frequently contribute my thoughts on these topics too.

As this is a relatively new medium for me transpiring my ideas, I would love you to contact me with any ideas, suggestions or questions to help make this a really useful resource for you. I would really appreciate this feedback.

The best way to contact me at the moment is by email. Also, please feel welcomed to sign up for the newsletter at the top right corner of this webpage. I promise I won’t spam you, although a couple of kids at primary school used to call me spam (rhymes with Sam you know), so in effect you could say I was ‘spamming’ you. Whilst on that subject, no one actually eats spam over here in England, so I don’t actually know what it tastes like! If anyone could let me know, that would be most accommodating…

Much love,

Sam

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Related posts:

1. Sparklife.info six month review – every article listed
2. Sparklife.info SWOT analysis
3. Sparklife.info one year review – every article listed