Whether you are single, in a monogamous relationship or anywhere in between, the foundation to having a successful and happy dating life or relationship is in learning how to communicate with other people effectively, which is the essence of being ‘sociable’.
When I was in my early teens I always thought that you were either born with great social skills or you had to make do without. There were kids in school who seemed to make no effort to have swarms of friends and be the life of all social functions. The truth is that being sociable is a learnt skill and no matter how extroverted you were taught to be when growing up, everyone can practice being more sociable. Being able to have positive interactions with all the people you meet will certainly enrich many aspects of your life.
In order to become more outgoing in general, it’s all very well being told, “just get out there and force yourself to be”. Unfortunately humans aren’t always the best at forcing themselves to break habits and do new things. A far more balmy method to become more sociable is to put yourself in a situation where you are forced to interact with other people by default…  [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 at
3:23 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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Having a ‘movie evening’ with someone in any sort of romantic fashion actually requires a fair bit of investment and commitment to a potential relationship, so whilst it doesn’t make a particularly good first date, watching a movie together makes a great second or third date. Whilst I am by no means a renowned movie expert, I still get asked occasionally for movie recommendations for dates, which is the inspiration for this article.
To be honest, the actual choice of movie isn’t all that important (although I will give some suggestions later in this article); it’s more about the time spent together and developing the interaction between the two of you, so as long as the selection isn’t yawn-inducing, it should be fine. Having said that, in this article I will give a few things to think about regarding this topic, which conveniently ties in with how to make decisions on almost ANYTHING date related…
Choosing a movie for a date:
The reason watching a movie at home with someone you are romantically interested in is such a great idea in the early stages of dating is that it breeds familiarity and is an easy way to start building romantic intimacy and rapport, without too much pressure. Also, if you pick the right sort of movie, you can help curb the energy levels and emotional stimulus of the relationship, as explained in the following summary: [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at
3:02 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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My last article was about how to advance your dating life and social life in general by starting to approach and meet more people in everyday life. I thought I would write a somewhat related article before diverging into more in-depth relationship topics once more.
This article focuses on a dating principle that is often conducted inefficiently, if conducted at all…
The most important principle in dating:
One of the most disregarded pieces of the dating puzzle is the process of telling someone why you like them. If you’ve ever had someone stand you up for a date… If you’ve ever had someone you like not return your calls or texts… If you’ve ever had someone seem really interested in you and then witness that interest swiftly plummet without explanation… This is probably the reason!
It seems simple in principle but so many people fail to actually tell people they are attracted to what it is they actually like about them beyond their physical appearance. A result of this is that the other person will always be thinking “hmm are they only after one thing… Do they actually like ME?” Admittedly, this is more of a common thought amongst women than men, as dating culture has set men up to be the pursuers, who will generally reap ANY reciprocated interest.
Whatever your intentions are, if you don’t tell someone what you like about them early on, any future relationship is going to start in a staggered fashion, if at all. [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Thursday, April 16th, 2009 at
1:36 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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In the article ‘Steps for finding the perfect partner’, one of the points was that to increase your chances of meeting the perfect partner, you have to be willing to meet as many people as you reasonably can.
Just think how many people pass you by every day without you taking a second glance… Call me a whimsical romantic but every single member of the opposite sex that you nonchalantly pass by each day could be your future soul mate!!
Make a commitment:
One of the biggest barriers that inhibits people from approaching members of the opposite sex that they would like to meet is EXCUSES. Even guys who have paid me sizeable amounts of money to teach them how to meet women still give me a barrage of excuses when it comes to actually doing it:
“I’m not really attracted to her.”
“She looks busy.”
“I’m not feeling it.”
“I’ve hesitated too long.”
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This entry was posted on
Sunday, April 12th, 2009 at
10:03 am by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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A common request that I get is for help and guidance on texting a new potential suitor. Usually I receive this request from guys, as girls will more readily ask their friends for advice, but occasionally I get this request from a girl. Sometimes I flat-out get asked to write a text from scratch for someone, although I will explain why this wouldn’t really benefit you shortly.
Due to this demand, I have decided to compile a list of general guidelines for texting someone you have recently met and acquired the phone number of. These guidelines are most relevant for the beginning stages of dating. After knowing someone for a while and getting past the initial pressure of texting someone new, you won’t have to worry about these concepts, although they are still useful to keep in mind when texting in a relationship…
First thoughts are usually the best:
Have you ever sat there staring at your phone, agonising over what to write, modifying your drafts hundreds of times, asking around your close friends for creative input and then agonising some more before finally sending something similar to what you had in the first place? More often than not, what you immediately think of when creating or replying to a text message is the best. Over-analysis is the killer of creative flow! [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Friday, March 20th, 2009 at
1:04 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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What does tradition tell us is the best first date: Dinner, the cinema, or perhaps turning up with flowers and then doing whatever the lady wants to do (the man will be paying of course)? All three of these are TERRIBLE ideas! Let me deal with them separately…
Don’t go for dinner:
These kind of dates used to be my worst nightmare; what a pressurised situation! You’re sitting opposite each other and the whole focus is on the conversation the two of you must have. You’re sitting in the same spot for up to two hours, so once the limited chat about the surrounding decor has worn off, you really have to be on your conversational best to keep the interaction interesting. Not to mention that sitting opposite each other restricts almost completely any touch or physical escalation that should be happening between the two of you to progress the relationship to that of a sexual one.
Getting takeaway food or grabbing a bite to eat if you’re both hungry is fine but setting up a formal ‘dinner date’ is boring, unoriginal and pressurised… You’re likely to get a high percentage of women turning this sort of date down at first because of this. [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Monday, March 16th, 2009 at
3:32 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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This is the second part in the series ‘Dispelling male myths about dating’. The first part can be found HERE.
“Just be yourself”:
This is the killer, usually given by women who have got to know you, bypassed all the crummy social conditioning and realised that you are a nice guy underneath (but not one that they would sleep with). Else it is given by guys who had useful male role-models when they were developing (a confident father for example) and have always been confident and good with women (they haven’t actually broken down what it is exactly that gets them the girls though). If just ‘being yourself’ has not worked in the past, what makes you think that it would work now? My advice to this is obviously not to try and be someone you’re not and hide your core values and personality (although modelling the people you admire works wonders in the short term), but to practice becoming the person you WANT to be and then be that new self, your BEST self, one that has all the limiting beliefs and negative thoughts stripped away. [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Monday, March 9th, 2009 at
12:21 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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Before I get into more in-depth dating techniques and advice, as well as actually starting on more substantial relationship advice, I thought I would go through a couple of common dating myths that are floating around. I’ve heard these phrases and similar come from many different sources time and time again, so I thought I would lay them to rest once and for all…
“Women don’t enjoy sex”:
This is absolutely the most absurd myth floating around… that women don’t enjoy sex! On the contrary, most of my female friends can’t get enough of sex and demand it from their men more than is healthy… Ever heard of multiple orgasms? The difference is that due to modern culture, women don’t like to admit they want sex and be branded a slut.
This myth is especially rife in a clubbing environment and most girls will say they are going out “to dance”. Do you really think women spend several hours choosing the perfect outfit (usually showing off an excessive amount of leg and cleavage), fixing their makeup multiple times, doing their hair with the precision of a rocket launch and generally presenting themselves as a sexual-being just so they can dance? Look, if girls JUST wanted to listen to music and drink with their girl-buddies, they would have a little gathering with CDs and cheap wine at home. Girls go out to FIND SEX, just like guys. That’s not saying they would go out and have sex with anything or anyone… This would alienate them from their peer group and oppose their biological instinct to mate with a man of strength and power, who has the ability to successfully rear her children. However, a woman’s FANTASY is that she will go out and be confronted by her Prince Charming, who will whisk her off her feet and take her back to his castle for uninhibited, lustful sex. Note that the rules change slightly for girls who are already in happy relationships and this is something that I will specifically discuss in an upcoming post. [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Saturday, March 7th, 2009 at
10:21 am by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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This is the second part in the list of ’10 things you can do right now to improve your love life’. The first part can be found HERE.
6) Smile, be warming and remember people’s names:
These three characteristics can be summed up by the term ‘friendliness’ and although most of us are taught these principles from an early age, it is amazing how many people don’t apply them ALL the time, due to their own negative self-esteem, contempt for society due to personal issues or just downright laziness!
A genuine smile is the universal display of confidence and friendliness. By genuine I mean one that radiates across the whole face like you’re ecstatic to see everyone you meet. Make sure you don’t just smile with the mouth but with your eyes and your teeth too and then everyone will be happy to be in your presence. A good example of someone who smiles like this is Joey from the American sitcom ‘Friends’.. [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 at
2:38 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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Everyone knows that first impressions are key and research shows that humans will judge the most about you as a person within the first SEVEN seconds of meeting you!! This sounds absurd but it actually stems from a built-in survival technique in humans to judge who we will benefit from getting to know and who is, without being overly harsh, probably not worth knowing. Obviously these days it doesn’t transpire as cut and dry as this but you will still find that the more you work on your first impression, the more you will flourish in social interactions. Below is the first part of a list of ten things you can do to help you achieve this and ultimately improve your chances of dating the men or women you desire…
1) Smarten up your appearance:
It’s a sad affair how much we get judged by our appearance but if you think about it, your appearance says an awful lot about you. It shows how much you pride yourself and how willing you are to make the effort to present yourself in the best possible way. Not to mention if you think you look good, you will ultimately feel good about yourself, which is key to making a great first impression! [Continue reading this post...]
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This entry was posted on
Sunday, March 1st, 2009 at
11:24 pm by Samuel McCrohan and is filed
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