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How to approach and meet a celebrity – The night I met Emma Watson

The following encounter happened some time ago now but it is one that is repeatedly requested that I retell. Previously, the only real life interaction I have written about was the story of when I first met my wonderful girlfriend Heidi (which you can read HERE). That story proved to be very popular so I thought I would share another true story that also has a unique angle and some interesting lessons to pick up on.

Read on for the story of how I approached and chatted to a rather famous celebrity, and how it went from miraculously well to unsalvageable in one swift swoop… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

How to be less shy, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert

Being shy is not something to be embarrassed about. It also does not have to be something that dictates your social life, your dating skills or your relationships.

People often confuse shyness with having an introvert personality and some even think that overcoming either of these is an insurmountable challenge. This is not the case.

This article will explain how shyness isn’t necessarily a bad thing and provide some tips on how to overcome it. I will relate it to my own experiences of going from notably shy and reserved in my youth, to confident and comfortable in any social scenario… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

First date tips

Even if you make an unfavourable impression when you first meet someone, if you can still get them on a date with you then you can always rectify that impression… Recovering from a terrible first date on the other hand is a difficult thing to do!

This article will discuss some tips for having an incredible first date, which paves the way for whatever sort of relationship you are looking for. I will also answer some common first date questions throughout. Feel free to add your own experiences in the comments section at the bottom of this article… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

3 steps to being more attractive

There are several factors that contribute towards how attractive you are… or more precisely, how attractive people perceive you to be. The two overriding factors though are your internal beliefs and your conveyed personality.

Internal beliefs are generally constructed through life experience, from infancy onwards… If you experience positive messages and attention from others, you will generally have a lot more self-belief and confidence by default than if you rarely receive validation of that sort.

Conveyed personality is an extension of that inner confidence and is basically how we come across to other people, including first impressions and social skills.

Internal beliefs and conveyed personality are closely correlated, with each one directly affecting the other. This means that by improving one aspect of these attraction variables, you proportionally improve the other.

This article is going to focus on the latter of these two variables, with the intention being that by paying attention to certain aspects of your personality, you can increase how attractive other people perceive you. This will in turn improve several internal beliefs.

Note that this article is not implying that you change your core personality, more that it is suggesting ways to CONVEY your personality in the best way. Also remember that attraction doesn’t stop when you’re in a relationship… presumably you want to remain attractive throughout your relationships too! 🙂

Without further ado, here are three steps to being more attractive… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Connecting in a relationship and interacting using frame theory

A lot of people say, when put on the spot about dating someone specific, or when deciding to end a relationship, that they are just not “compatible” with this other person.

The truth is that compatibility is created and we can learn to be compatible with just about anyone.

It is the art of connecting with someone that we base this compatibility supposition on: some people connect with each other far more naturally than others, which is generally how we get into romantic relationships.

It is for this reason, that when a couple come to me, adamant on staying together and working on their relationship, that helping them to connect with each other is the number one priority. If you can positively connect with someone (and I will explain what I mean by positively connecting in this article) then the basis of a fulfilling relationship is already there… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Dealing with approach anxiety

Approach anxiety is an unusual phenomenon… It is irrational and unbeneficial yet remains a very real experience for a lot of people!

Approach anxiety is the manifestation of a number of physiological and emotional symptoms we get when we decide to actively meet a stranger. The time where this is most significant (which is also what makes it highly relevant to the topics on this website) is when thinking about approaching someone we are attracted to.

Humans are social creatures and we live in a sophisticated world of several billion people, yet there are still common scenarios where we find it abnormal to approach a fellow human being and instinctual responses take over our logical desires in those moments.

There are probably a few naturally confident men and women, socialised at an early age, who are reading this and cannot relate to this feeling of approach anxiety. For the rest of us, I’m sure you can think of a time where you really wanted to meet someone, perhaps someone you are physically attracted to, and approach anxiety kicked in; else, you simply dismiss the idea of actively meeting people in this way altogether.

I’ve yet to meet someone, regardless of situation or relationship status that hasn’t had their lives enriched by learning to meet more people or overcome their anxieties. This article will explain where approach anxiety comes from and then detail a simple three-step method for overcoming it… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

The complimenting challenge for both singles and couples

Today’s update is a practical assignment that will have a positive effect on many aspects of your life. If you’ve been following my twitter profile recently then you will have noticed that the lead up to this challenge revolves around thinking about the best compliments you have ever been given and how you felt when you received them. If you haven’t responded to that yet then please add the best compliment you have ever been given in the comments section at the end of this article. The responses I have received so far have highlighted the variety of positive emotions that I was expecting.

The following complimenting challenge takes very little time out of your daily routine (in fact it is incorporated directly into it) and will have a profound effect on both your dating life and your relationships… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

A fundamental flaw in dating and why you should never stop meeting people

A question I often get asked is “does your girlfriend mind that you are a dating coach?” As part of that aspect of my work, I often take guys out into the real world and demonstrate how easy it is to meet people of the opposite sex, so to put their question another way, does Heidi mind that I approach other women? The truth is that even if I didn’t work as a dating coach I would still approach other women! Before I procure a heavy backlash from that statement, let me explain what I mean… 🙂

Attractive people in relationships:

One of the saddest aspects of relationships is that they can turn even the most attractive person into their antithesis over time. Have you ever had a friend who has suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth after getting into a serious relationship? Or, have you ever come out of a long relationship only to feel clueless as to how to succeed in the dating world again? Both of these questions are answered by analysing the contrasting mindsets between people in relationships and those same people when they are not in a relationship. [Continue reading this post…]

How to get out of the friend zone

The ‘friend zone’ is a common dating situation where one person develops feelings for someone with whom their relationship has previously always been purely platonic. The friend zone can also refer to a situation where one person openly reveals a romantic interest in someone else only for the feelings not to be reciprocated. This second description is commonly referred to as the “let’s just be friends” syndrome due to the fact that phrase is a common response to unwanted romantic interest from a friend.

It is typically more common for men to find themselves in situations regarding the friend zone, as women generally have more dating options available to them and as a consequence can differentiate between emotional attachment and sexual attraction more easily. In fact, of my male clients, a fairly high percentage come to me directly from the situation that there is someone specific who they want to win over. My advice to those people is usually the same: in order to get one woman, you have to be able to get ALL women!

This article is going to dissect the psychology behind having romantic feelings for a friend before describing the only reliable techniques to starting a relationship with someone who you are firmly in the ‘friend zone’ with… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Nice guy or bad boy – find the perfect balance

Are you a nice guy?

The ‘nice guy’ is a common term that gets casually thrown around the dating scene. It describes a guy who may very well have lots of female friends, yet at the same time finds it hard to specifically convert that friendship into romantic interest with the women that they want. Ironically, women are actually looking for someone with the very qualities that the nice guys possess, yet in popular culture women always seem to be attracted to the ‘bad boys’… Why is that?

This article is going to specifically break down the difference between these two contrasting behaviour types before explaining how you can attract the women that you desire whilst still being a ‘nice guy’… 🙂

The difference between nice guys and bad boys:

Women are generally very good at describing what they want their ideal partner to be like and they will readily list off a number of qualities that nice guys typically possess: loyal, trustworthy, reliable etc. The problem is that in these circumstances women are thinking in terms of someone they could experience a long and fulfilling relationship with, not someone who is going to subconsciously attract them when they first meet. This is the first cause for why men are sometimes confused as to what women really look for in a man. [Continue reading this post…]