Well first I would say that whilst doubts are not always accurate, they exist for a reason. That does not necessarily mean that this relationship isn’t right for you, but you should definitely take some time to rationally think over what you really want out of a relationship.

This should be a decision you make on your own, based on what YOU want!

If you are a not even considering things such as marriage and children yet then make that clear to your boyfriend. They are both huge acts of commitment and you want to make absolutely sure that you are both completely fulfilled and happy in your relationship long before either of them occurs.

Aside from trying to separate yourself from your boyfriend’s emotions temporarily so you can make a rational decision and stick to it, you also want to drop any concerns about what people outside the relationship might think; they really don’t matter in this instance! Only you can decide, using some of the techniques mentioned in the above article, if your relationship is right for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide,

Sam

Your mindset is spot on; it takes a lot of insight to embrace the bigger picture when it comes to relationships and I think it’s great that you want to stay on good terms with each other yet not let it affect moving on.

Thanks for sharing your story,

Sam

In an ideal world, all relationships would be suitable and everlasting and we would inherit the tools necessary to coexist with that partner happily for life. Unfortunately this isn’t the case and marriage only goes some way in artificially creating that. That is why I would still only recommend professional therapy in extreme circumstances, even for married couples.

Indeed, seeking therapy does show the willingness to make a change but even then there are enough resources available that are from a far more productive and enlightened angle than therapy.

Thanks for your input and I hope your book does well for you,

Sam

That’s a good point about how age is often a factor. As people get older there is a far greater desire to settle down and think of stability and direction as more governing factors in a relationship.

I’m not sure I would recommend constantly asking what you are doing wrong but you’re right that you should be in charge of your own happiness.

Thanks for stopping by,

Sam

That’s exactly right… A lot of the time, people in the situation we’re discussing will put off making a decision, hoping that things will magically resolve themselves and obviously they rarely do without any input. At some point there does become a ‘turning point’ where things become too much but often decisions can be made a lot earlier and easier.

You’re right that someone doesn’t want to have unrealistic standards that prevent themselves from experiencing any relationships. It’s about finding the balance between knowing what you are looking for and knowing how to find it!

Thanks for commenting and I hope everything is grand with you,

Sam