One of the main things you want to avoid with phone sex is any confusion of unease. Phone sex can still be incredible even if the woman does not want to touch herself. In fact, although it is a very advanced skill to learn, it is possible to make a woman have an intense orgasm without any physical touch at all.

You want to have a lot more belief in what you are saying and make sure you are describing things that you know turn her on. If you don’t know exactly what that is then it is something you can discuss with each other at a time when you are not being sexual. Simply ask her without embarrassment to teach you exactly how she likes to be touched and what sorts of things really turn her on. Most women love to have a man who is eager to please her.

The last point is to make sure that she is in the mood to be in the mood if that makes sense. You can’t force a woman to embrace and enjoy phone sex; she has to be equally enthusiastic and willing for it to go down well!

I hope that helps and thanks for writing,

Sam

It is difficult to specifically answer your question without further details, such as how your sex life has been in the past and how open-minded your girlfriend is.

The great thing about something like phone sex is that it can be introduced very subtly and is also a great primer to rejuvenate a stale sex life.

Rather than directly discussing doing something like phone sex with your girlfriend, you can hint at it or lead into it whilst actually on the phone. Start out with innocuous yet endearing statements such as, “I miss your sexy body” and see how she reacts.

Phone sex and indeed sex in general is about taking control whilst still being respectful. That is where the term sexual masculinity comes from.

Sam

If anything phone sex should enhance your future sex life as it gives a great insight into what women like in the bedroom and how they like to be touched.

The only risk is if it becomes too often and unrealistic that there becomes a disassociation between the phone sex and sexual intimacy between the two of you in real life. Make sure that the phone sex and associated fantasies are always future projections featuring the two of you and there should never be that disassociation.

Thanks for your questions,

Sam

There are a couple of factors that will determine his desire for cybersex or phone-sex. These factors are things such as how far you are apart, how often you are apart and how fulfilling other aspects of the relationship are.

Men in general are a lot more visual than women when it comes to arousal and so although I’m sure he does enjoy cybersex and phone-sex, they might not be as intense or desirable for him as they are for you.

One of the best ways to compensate for that, depending on how comfortable you are with doing so, is sending sexy and suggestive photos to him in the time leading up to engaging in cybersex or phone-sex. The best way is to start with more discrete, teasing photos and then lead up to sending more risqué ones. This is pretty much a guaranteed turn-on for any boyfriend.

Obviously this is all on the assumption that there aren’t other relationship factors at play that perhaps your boyfriend isn’t letting on.

If everything else in the relationship seems perfect then it might just be a case of mixing it up a bit and making sure that cybersex or phone-sex never becomes monotonous or a routine for him.

Thanks for writing,

Sam

You mention testing her to see if she complied but it is possible that everything she is doing stems from this testing mindset too. Girls (especially attractive girls) do this ALL the time subconsciously so I would concentrate more on how she acts rather than what she says. It seems you are pretty clued up on the situation in general and fairly relaxed about it all so it’s all good.

Take care,

Sam