You mention testing her to see if she complied but it is possible that everything she is doing stems from this testing mindset too. Girls (especially attractive girls) do this ALL the time subconsciously so I would concentrate more on how she acts rather than what she says. It seems you are pretty clued up on the situation in general and fairly relaxed about it all so it’s all good.

Take care,

Sam

It’s hard to specifically analyse without more detail but there will definitely be some motive for her engaging in phone sex even with a friend; you’re on the right track with your thoughts. She is either doing it for fun, for the self-validation of being able to ‘get a guy off’ or she is actually getting more out of it than she is letting on. Either way, if she continues to consensually do something like that and everyone knows the situation then I’m not sure what exactly the issue is.

Sam

Phone sex is all about comfort and emotional attachment for it to be powerful for a woman. Aside from a few cases, women would not be comfortable having phone sex with someone with whom they are not already intimate with.

You definitely want to increase the sexual intimacy in real-life before initiating any form of intense phone sex else as you say, she won’t get much out of it. In fact, it will probably have a negative effect on any potential sexual relationship trying it before both of you are ‘ready’ for it.

Thanks for your questions,

Sam

You can normally judge how comfortable a woman will be with phone sex by how comfortable she is at other times of sexual expression. After that the only hurdle is making sure she is comfortable with the unfamiliar concept of being sexually expressive over the phone. That is achieved by easing into it from normal conversation and using the slow and smooth escalation I talk about in the article.

Although you’re right that asking at every step will kill the mood slightly, the feedback will be in her audible or verbal responses. If you can’t tell if she is enjoying it, or she isn’t sounding very responsive at all then you can try and get her more involved by either saying something like, “Do you like it when I do [x,y,z] to you”, “tell me how excited you are right now”, or getting her even more involved by saying something like, “what would you like me to do next?” although with the latter try not to shift the interaction completely into her control. The difference between this and asking her flat out if she is comfortable is that it is kept within the context of your imaginations, rather than focusing on the literal fact that you are on the phone to each other.

Once again though, a slow escalation, starting with romantic and sensual talk first, is the key to making even the most chaste women feel comfortable with phone sex.

I hope that answers your query,

Sam

Phone sex varies greatly in intensity and duration so to give an exhaustive list of sound-bites wouldn’t be all that helpful. Phone sex works so much better when it is spontaneous and adapted according to each other’s personal tastes and also each other’s responses in the moment.

Having said that, a great default way to start the sexual talk is by describing where you are (the bedroom for example) and other details such as what you are wearing… Basically, setting the scene! You can then proceed to the descriptive and sensual talk I mentioned in the article.

A great default sentence prefix when you first start is, “If I was there with you right now I would…” and then describe what you would do, talking slow and deep.

Some examples to finish the above sentence could be:

“…lightly kiss you on the neck.”

“…kiss you all the way down to your shoulder and then all the way back up.”

“…delicately stroke the soft curves of your body.”

It’s up to you where you go from there and how far you want to take it!

I hope that gives you some ideas to start with at least and if you really want me to type out some more thorough examples then feel free to e-mail me and I’ll help you further.

Sam

I thought it was about time I wrote another more sexual article… I’m glad you enjoy them!

To answer your question, it depends what you define as ‘casual dating’. In general, phone sex of the deep and intimate kind such as described in this article is going to work far better in a committed relationship as it relies on a certain level of comfort for each person to really get into it. As you say, you will generally be able to gauge from the woman how she will react to it from how sexual she is at other times.

It goes without saying that phone sex should only be introduced once the relationship is that of a sexual one. Obviously you want to be used to and comfortable with talking at length on the phone with one another too.

Although there are many different forms of phone sex, it is generally considered an ‘advanced sexual technique’ so I advise men to make sure they fully understand the female body and how to give sexual pleasure completely in real life before really getting into it.

I hope that helps,

Sam