One of my friends sent me a link to that website recently and I love it… I hadn’t read that submission though so thanks for sharing it! It does validate some of the points that age shouldn’t matter when you hear heart-warming stories like that!

Thanks for sharing,

Sam

“Today, my husband celebrated a healthy, happy 80th birthday. I fell in love with him when I was 21. At the time he was almost twice my age. And despite all the initial negative reactions from family and friends, here we are smiling 40 years later. MMT”

It’s wonderful when you hear stories like this don’t you think?

Joan <3

I agree that timing is important although the timing can become right if you want it to. What I mean is that I wouldn’t have said I was looking for a serious relationship when I first met Heidi; in fact I was one of the most casual daters around at the time. The timing became right once I realised we had the makings of a good relationship together. That does back up your point that we shouldn’t have inflexible opinions on these issues though.

I agree that there will always be judgements and prejudices from other people and whilst you can’t change how other people act, you can change how you react to them and hopefully influence those people by example.

As I am not a parent myself I can’t specifically comment on how I would feel about my own child dating someone much older than them, although I can imagine how the concern for a child (even once they reach adulthood) would be prevalent. Young people can be naive and vulnerable although there is also value in letting them learn from their own mistakes and experiences, as long as no one is hurt in the process.

I agree that it is also important that no one feels used in a relationship, large age gap or not. I do actually know of cases where money and looks are the dominant force behind a relationship (commonly referred to as ‘gold diggers’). In the examples I have in mind though, it is actually a mutual setup where everyone still knows where they stand and if two people openly enjoy a relationship based on money and looks then once again, it isn’t for me or anyone else to judge.

Thanks for commenting,

Sam

Yes I agree; there are so many clichéd labels thrown around by a judgemental society: ‘sugar daddy’, ‘toy boy’ and ‘bit on the side’. These don’t really encourage people who genuinely want to date someone in those categories. I agree that relationships should only be formed for the right reasons and any labels people put on it should be ignored.

You’re so right that age difference should be far more trivial than it is. I remember when I used to be out and about meeting women all the time, age was one of the LAST things I would find out about a woman because it simply isn’t important in itself for two people attracting and connecting with each other.

I always look forward to your comments, thanks again Elena!

Sam

I definitely agree that maturity is probably a big factor as well as generally being an attractive trait, although it does depend in what context maturity is defined. Maturity refers to human development as a whole and so there are a number of variations, namely physical, emotional or social maturity. It is generally social maturity that is attractive to women initially and emotional maturity that most often leads to fulfilling relationships.

Confidence is another thing that is gained through positive experiences (which is a result of aging and maturing). I have occasionally pondered whether we would have connected so well if I was 18 when we met… The truth is that I probably wouldn’t have had the social maturity at that age to allow you to get to the stage of connecting with me on a romantic level. Interesting food for thought ai!

On the back of your last statement I’ve just had a little search for the biggest public age-gap relationships and the two that I found were that of Rod Steward and his partner (26 year age difference) and Michael Douglas with Catherine Zeta-Jones (25 year age difference). I obviously don’t know the full nuances of their relationships but both couples seem happy enough together.

xxxx

I worry that relationships can be superficial such as an older man wanting a twenty year old model on his arm more for show than for the actual relationship, which is sad irrespective of the age. This is different to an older man actually falling in love with a younger girl.

Judgements and prejudices from other people aren’t worth concentrating on as you get them in every field.

I would worry about my son or daughter getting in a serious relationship at a very young age regardless of how much older their partner was and I think this is natural. So it isn’t the age difference that is a concern, it is the fact that young people are vulnerable.

At the end the day the important thing is that no one is being used in a relationship such as an older man or woman for their money or a younger man or woman for their looks.

Still, if you meet the right person, age should only be a difference like hair color. They always say you know, and I think that is a big factor in finding that right person, no matter what the age difference.

Eva x