If your girlfriend isn’t being obvious or specific with where her feelings of contempt are stemming from then there might be external causation, or she might be losing respect for the relationship as a whole.

It may sound counter-intuitive but a good mindset to have is to assume everything is fine and concentrate on being the best version of yourself you can be, rather than primarily trying to please your girlfriend or constantly seeking a solution from her.

You don’t want to distance yourself from the relationship in any way but if your girlfriend is not giving you specific feedback, working on each area of the relationship separately will always have a positive effect. The ten points in the above article are a good basis to start from, as well as other advice given throughout the website.

Instead of focusing on winning back the respect of your girlfriend, focus on being the person that gains respect from everyone around you. Respect isn’t necessarily about the actions you do, it is about the beliefs you project!

Take care and thanks for reading,

Sam

Whilst calling regularly seems like a nice thing for a boyfriend to do, I would only recommend calling every day if you actually have stuff to talk about and a mutual excitement and desire to speak to each other that often.

Numbness suggests routine and monotony. Calling every day without progressing or exciting the relationship reflects this and could be a contributing factor for why she currently feels the way she does.

The reason that her numbness seemed to subside when you backed off a bit is because it would have evoked new feelings. It sounds counter-intuitive but toning down any behaviour that could come across as needy will invigorate the relationship once more. It will make it less predictable and the whole thing more of a challenge, which is inherently attractive.

Point number two in the above article is one that relates to your situation and you want to take control of the relationship and spend some time thinking of ways you can get some of the excitement and passion back.

Take care,

Sam

D tin is when she felt numb b4,she complained n i cared less n funny enough she snapped out of the numbness in few days….but now, dat im puttin much effort into d relationship still she finds it very difficult to experience dem feelings for me…she said i shudnt let it border me dat she believes it will soon be over…
Im confused…..wats d meanin of all dis challenges??

Although money is often thrown about as the number one attractive trait for a man, what is far more important is having goals and ambitions. Financial situations are fairly easy to change but it is your attitude towards money that is most important.

For example, thoughtful or creative gifts don’t have to be expensive, and a woman of integrity will actually appreciate those gestures more than expensive ones. As long as you are never a financial burden on your girlfriend (and it sounds like you are striving not to be) then that aspect of the relationship should be fine.

As for your second point, emotions are often hard to comprehend and verbalise. Unless there are other psychological issues at play, a woman will stay in a relationship because she actively wants to. The reasons for wanting to can vary considerably though and respect in a relationship is most certainly not automatic.

If you work on achieving the ten points listed in the above article then you have the basis for creating a fulfilling relationship in whatever way you choose.

All the best,

Sam

1. Im not strong financiali,she has been assistin me seriousli n even when some rich guys hit on her she just ignore them totally,but now she’s growin tired of my financial status,cos she’s not gettin d good material tins she deserves from me,but d most pressin one is even to communicat on phone for longer duration is immposible cos im not dat bouyant..but now she hv started workin is it a crime for her to jst call for long period whn she feels it? cos im not askin her for money anymore,n mind u dat whn i ask for assistance from her i always pay her back,n even with my brokeness i never cease to buy her gifts whenever im opportuined

2. At a point in our relationship b4 she cheated on me she use to complain dat we were on a passive relationship,dat im not concerned abt her,n i always cheat on her bcos i believe she’s always there for me…dat is one of d reasons i 4gave her whn she cheated on me, cos she made dis comment then, n i was 100percent guilty…

But again she also said sometin i want u to help me confirm
SHE LOVES ME BCOS SHE CHOOSE TO LOVE ME THAT LOVE IS NOT FEELING FOR HER BUT CHOICE….is is rite????

We didnt start off as lovers,we were friends for some months n den she was havin a brk up with her ex,who massively cheated n was still cheatin n take advantage of her,then i approached her n she said we shud giv it a trial,dat was how my love for her started growin,not from d start,but it grew overtime….n she never gave in to her first lover who persistentli disturbed her over sex…..but 3yrs afta our relationship,with less pressure from me,n also bcos she wanted me to stop cheatin on her,she gave in to havin makin love with me….now my question is …..
IF SHE TRUELY CHOOSED TO LOVE ME WONT SHE HAV LEFT INTACT WHEN SHE DISCOVERED I WAS CHEATIN ON HER?
N even afta she gave in i still messed up again n instead of her to back out,she cheated to pay me back….

Wat do u classify her reactions to be???

As the above article states, respect is something that is gained over time purely by the way two people treat each other. Disrespectful behaviour is something that is learnt and it continues to grow whenever that behaviour goes unchallenged. If your fiancée’s disrespectful behaviour is aimed exclusively towards you, then it is most likely due to the roles that have slowly been established as the relationship has progressed.

Changing this setup will be a gradual process if you want to keep things amicable. The sort of things you want to start to do more often is being more open with expressing how her insults and disrespectful behaviour make you feel, as well as being more assertive with establishing boundaries of what you find acceptable behaviour in a relationship.

This should most certainly still be done whilst showing love but with the added confidence and conviction that prevents someone being treated badly.

All the best,

Sam

Love is such a complex emotion that it is difficult to quantify on its own, let alone whether it is possible to categorically state if it is unconditional or not.

The sentiment of unconditional love is a nice one but there is a big difference between telling your partner that you will love them forever, and telling them that they can do whatever they want, act however they like and treat you in whatever way and you will still love them!

Having said that, I have seen exposés on women in abusive relationships who claim that the reason they stay with their partner is because they “love them”.

Respectfully setting boundaries is important in both romantic relationships (regardless of love) and just generally when cohabiting with someone, and as such, the act of setting boundaries is actually mutually exclusive from love.

I hope my explanation is clear and thanks for reading,

Sam