Movies to watch on a date
Having a ‘movie evening’ with someone in any sort of romantic fashion actually requires a fair bit of investment and commitment to a potential relationship, so whilst it doesn’t make a particularly good first date, watching a movie together makes a great second or third date. Whilst I am by no means a renowned movie expert, I still get asked occasionally for movie recommendations for dates, which is the inspiration for this article.
To be honest, the actual choice of movie isn’t all that important (although I will give some suggestions later in this article); it’s more about the time spent together and developing the interaction between the two of you, so as long as the selection isn’t yawn-inducing, it should be fine. Having said that, in this article I will give a few things to think about regarding this topic, which conveniently ties in with how to make decisions on almost ANYTHING date related… 
Choosing a movie for a date:
The reason watching a movie at home with someone you are romantically interested in is such a great idea in the early stages of dating is that it breeds familiarity and is an easy way to start building romantic intimacy and rapport, without too much pressure. Also, if you pick the right sort of movie, you can help curb the energy levels and emotional stimulus of the relationship, as explained in the following summary:
Worst movie choice = a movie that gets few emotional reactions out of its viewers.
Decent movie choice = a movie that gets lots of emotional reactions out of its viewers.
Best movie choice = a movie that gets lots of POSITIVE emotional reactions out of its viewers.
Now these may seem like obvious findings but if you think of all your favourite movies, you’ll be surprised how easily they spread across those three categories. I myself am a big fan of documentary-style films for example, yet they are more enjoyed through personal interest rather than tangible emotions.
So when choosing a movie, think about whether it is going to incite positive emotions not only in yourself but also with the person you will be sharing it with.
How this relates to dates and activities in general:
It’s slightly counter-intuitive but any form of active emotional reaction, be it negative or positive, is actually better for creating attraction than neutral, passive or no emotional reactions. Attraction is wholly built on the existence of emotional reactions (hence why ‘jerks’ still attract women) yet a lot of guys try and ‘play it safe’ when it comes to dating. The reason for this is that in pushing the boundaries, even with the intention of a hugely positive outcome, you risk tipping the balance and offending people.
A confident and attractive person, although never intending to offend people, is unapologetic for the way they are and the decisions they make.
Below is a crude diagram I have drawn to portray how attraction fluctuates with emotional input:
Obviously there is more to attraction than simply invoking emotions but trying to make every activity you do as fun and stimulating as possible will definitely head you in the right direction.
Applying this to the topic of this article, movies to watch on a date, it is clear that not only should you choose a fun and stimulating movie but you should also make it a fun and stimulating event as a whole!
Some personal movie recommendations:
There are so many classic films out there, with more being produced every month, that it would be impossible to give a concise list of all the best films. Below I will cover a few main genres along with giving a few examples of what my favourite flicks are in each one…
Horror movies: ‘Saw’ franchise, ‘Scream’ trilogy
The genre of movie that probably gets the most emotional reactions out of its viewers is the genre of horror movies. If you’re keen on choosing a horror movie, I would warn that there are men and women out there who distinctly despise these sorts of movies and can manifest more than just casual fear within themselves… Heidi won’t mind me revealing that she’s a big scaredy-cat when it comes to horror movies so make sure your date isn’t too before surprising or forcing them to watch a scary film!
Action/Thriller movies: ‘Transformers’, ‘Kill Bill’
Action and thriller movies follow a similar attitude as horror movies… People are generally either big fans or not interested in them. Either way, it’s hard to not get pumped up and excited whilst watching a classic thriller movie.
Comedy movies: ‘Meet the Parents’, ‘Wedding Crashers’, ‘There’s Something about Mary’
Comedy films are great for dates for obvious reasons… Laughing together is the best way to get in a good state and enjoy yourselves.
There are loads of examples of comedy movies and if you search imdb.com (internet movie database) you will get hundreds more highly-rated recommendations.
Feel-good movies: ‘Forrest Gump’, ‘The Princess Bride’, ‘When Harry met Sally’, Disney movies
Some guys pretend that they don’t enjoy movies like this, possibly to try and seem macho but the truth is that it’s very hard not to enjoy any of the movies I have listed above. They are very unisex and always leave viewers smiling with their heart-warming plots and cheesy endings!
Sexual movies: ‘Shortbus’
If your new relationship has not become sexual yet and you would like it to, then watching a sexual-orientated movie together will get you both suitably aroused. I would use this with caution though, making sure you know this sort of thing won’t offend your date. Whilst the above movie does also have a gripping storyline, it does contain many scenes of an adult nature if you catch my drift.
Childhood memories: ‘Labyrinth’, ‘The Land Before Time’
Obviously this will vary between generations but assuming you are dating someone within a similar age-range to you, watching movies from your childhood is a great way of developing a closeness to someone… It’s like jumping back into your past together!
Do you have any recommendations to add to these categories?
Final thoughts:
A few extra things to think about are, like I mentioned in ‘The perfect first date’, less emphasis should be put on the fact it is a date and more should be put on two people simply hanging out and having fun. An activity such as watching a movie together is merely a secondary element to advancing the relationship both emotionally and physically… You don’t want to be sitting there watching a movie in silence, no matter how great it is!
With all this being said, a great default choice for a movie if you don’t know your date very well yet, as with any date activity, is to choose something YOU will enjoy. Positivity is contagious and if you are having fun and enjoying yourself it will rub off on whoever you are with.
Don’t forget to add any movie recommendations you have in the comments section below…
Much love,
Sam
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I’m glad you added disney movies to your list. My perfect man is one who is not embarrassed to snuggle up, tub of ice cream in hand and watch sleeping beauty teehee
I know it’s a crime but I haven’t actually seen Sleeping Beauty yet!!
I’ve just managed to get a copy of what I think is the best Disney movie to date though… The Rescuers!! Hopefully that redeems me slightly!
Thanks for your comment,
Sam
I know not everyones taste but I love watching teen movies with girls. It lets me know if they are fun or not. “sex drive” and “role models” are my 2 favourites that I watched recently with girls.
Dean
Hey Dean,
Yes I’m a fan of teen-movies too. In fact, Heidi and I actually watched ‘Sex Drive’ just the other week together… My Mother happened to be round for the first half an hour or so, which was slightly awkward given the contents of the film!
Hilarious movie though!
I’ve seen trailers etc for ‘Role Models’ so I’ll be sure to check it out sometime.
Thanks for the comment,
Sam
Casablanca,
It’s A Wonderful Life,
12 Angry Men,
On The Waterfront.
I like my oldies : )
Jill
Thanks for the recommendations Jill!
I haven’t seen any of those films, although I have vaguely heard of each of them… obviously a bit before my time!
I’ll be sure to check them out if I can get my hands on a some copies.
Thanks,
Sam
I’m with Sally.. Disney- maybe The Sword and the Stone, and pint of Ben and Jerry’s … one spoon, feed each other! then maybe you forget the movie and concentrate on the possibilities of using the ice cream?
I’m going to be thinking about what some of my favorite movies might be and get back to you! Great post.
df
I like your thinking DF… especially the ending…
I look forward to hearing of your other favourite movies…
Thanks for your comment,
Sam
Hiya
My name is Sam too!
I’ve come across your site while looking for dating advice and I was just wondering, whilst I appreciate you are straight, whether you think that the advice you give can apply to gay relationships? Unfortunately there isn’t too much out there specifically for gay men but seeing as your site has less of a “guys picking up girls” bent to it than most, I thought it would be worth asking.
Thanks in advance
Sammy
Hey Sammy, cool name!
This is actually something I have thought about a lot over the years.
Whilst a great deal of the principles are the same regardless of gender or sexuality (the principles of attraction are universal for example), there are obviously a fair few differences, most notably the masculine/feminine roles in the relationship. It is something I have studied briefly but as I have no personal experience of gay relationships, I can’t claim to be an expert on them.
It’s a shame there aren’t any decent resources for this kind of advice but if you have any specific questions or topics then I would be happy to try and elaborate how gay relationships would differ from straight relationships.
Thanks,
Sam
Hi, cool post. I have been wondering about this topic,so thanks for writing.
No worries, I’m glad you liked it!
Sam
Personally, I never watch movies on dates. There’s always the risk you go and see the “wrong” movie. I once took a date to watch “American History X.” The car ride home was pretty stilted after I made jokes about biting curbs.
Ha I can imagine!
Yes I think it’s a lot safer, at least in the early stages to watch movies at home, with a good idea of what kind of film you’re in for!
Thanks for the comment,
Sam
Jodie over at Slinky Dating in Australia has a similar post about what your choice of films in your dating profile says about you that you might be interested in
http://www.slinkydating.com/2009/05/what-your-partners-film-tastes-says.html
I find it depends more how much I like someone as to what film I’ll suggest for a date!
Henry
Hey Henry,
Thanks for the link… I checked it out and Jodie makes some interesting comparisons. I wouldn’t say I agree with all the personality traits linked to certain genres but a lot of them are spot-on!
Good point; there should never be too many hard and fast rules when it comes to dating. Funnily enough though, putting too much emphasis on a date in general (or ‘liking’ your date too much early on) can actually have the reverse than desired effect, so it’s definitely best to keep everything as open as possible like you say.
Thanks for your comment,
Sam
killer post, u just helped me big time. thanks
Just Googled and read the whole article and i must have to say that me and my husband loved reading your post. We bookmarked and will regularly check more updates to come from your website. Thanks for making us one step more enlightened with your blog.
Thanks a lot guys!
Nice Post, better still I’m able to view it on my new iPhone.
i have a day planed with a girl, and to find out we have crushed on each other in the past. she spotted me one day in walmart after not seeing me for 3 years, she was getting her nails done so we talked and she said that she was about to go looking for me around the store cause she was apparently trying to get my attention. In a matter of a couple weeks we have talked online and somethings got ” steamy
” in our conversations. So we set up a day for us to hang out on a sunday where she has that day off of work and i dont know what the best plan is for movies or inexpensive activities for us to do. i know she likes action packed films and horror movies and absolutly hates chick flicks which is a plus. what movies should i get for the big day. And or what inexpensive activities would you suggest.?
Hi Tammy,
That’s a great story and it is crazy how people can pop up when you least expect it.
Obviously a lot of my suggestions would be based around how much comfort you have built with one another. If things have started to get “steamy” during the online chats then the date can clearly progress any way you want it to, so make sure you lead the interactions and activities when you meet up.
As for specific things to do, as I mentioned in the article ‘The perfect first date’, the best dates are ones where you can interact freely, have uninterrupted fun with each other and have the opportunity to be in physical contact with each other.
If there is a funky suburb near where you live, simply take her there and explore, then perhaps go to a nice bar/coffee shop. After that you can mention something cool back at yours. It doesn’t have to be a movie, although you can use some of the ones recommended above if you do want to watch a movie. You can simply ‘hang out’, perhaps watch some funny YouTube videos and make sure you are physically escalating if that is the way it is heading. Don’t just wait for something to happen if you want it to!
Obviously you can plan a more elaborate date if you want to but it really isn’t necessary at this stage. Getting to know each other and having fun can be done with even the simplest of activities or no activity at all so to speak.
Let me know how it turns out,
Sam