10 things you can do right now to improve your love life – part 2
This is the second part in the list of ’10 things you can do right now to improve your love life’. The first part can be found HERE. 
6) Smile, be warming and remember people’s names:
These three characteristics can be summed up by the term ‘friendliness’ and although most of us are taught these principles from an early age, it is amazing how many people don’t apply them ALL the time, due to their own negative self-esteem, contempt for society due to personal issues or just downright laziness!
A genuine smile is the universal display of confidence and friendliness. By genuine I mean one that radiates across the whole face like you’re ecstatic to see everyone you meet. Make sure you don’t just smile with the mouth but with your eyes and your teeth too and then everyone will be happy to be in your presence. A good example of someone who smiles like this is Joey from the American sitcom ‘Friends’..
Joey from 'Friends' smiling
It’s part of his character to always be in the moment and just be fun, happy Joey… Watch the way he smiles!
A simple exercise to get into this smiley state is to simply think back to a moment where you were prolifically happy and smile as you’re in the moment (a recent memory that achieves this for me is when I first saw my newborn niece and how I felt as I witnessed her innocent and enlightened face as she arrived into our world). You can do this exercise in front of a mirror and as you intently analyse your face, you will notice the difference in your internal feelings when you smile and when you do not.
I’ve always thought a name is utterly precious to a person and I’m sure you can remember a time when someone you don’t know too well greets you by name and how warming and connected you felt. A time where this concept really hit home though was several years ago at a social gathering where I was introducing two of my oldest and dearest friends to a new friend of mine. Now this new guy is extremely successful and to his detriment, sometimes lets that get the better of him. I introduced the old friends and immediately this new friend blurted out, “oh I’m rubbish with names, I won’t remember them”. Although this occurred almost four years ago, these two friends have never forgotten it and always use it to unjustly paint him in a negative light whenever he is mentioned.
Our brains only allow us to remember a certain amount of data of this kind and remembering names can be tricky sometimes. Fortunately, there are a number of techniques you can use to effectively remember people’s names with ease. I developed these for the times I would be teaching a private seminar of up to fifteen people and I would feel slightly embarrassed when I had to ask for my student’s names several times before they stuck. The techniques I now use are very simple and I will explain them fully in a future post.
7) Be well-groomed and smell good:
The benefits of these two pointers should be self-explanatory but once again, it’s amazing how laziness can take its toll on some people. I occasionally go a day without showering and by the end of it I feel outright gross! No one wants to date a scruffy, bad-smelling guy or girl, no matter how great they are. If you don’t already, it doesn’t take much effort to shower or bath every day, washing yourself well, spraying some deodorant or perfume on yourself and then styling your hair. The effects of this fifteen minute makeover (multiply by eight for a woman :p) will do wonders with your dating life.
8 ) Live a healthy lifestyle:
I’m not talking about counting calories religiously and pumping iron at the gym here, but keeping in shape and eating well will not only make you feel GREAT, but it will also maintain the attractive lifestyle I have been promoting in previous points. There are loads of great resources both online and in books on healthy eating. On top of this, one of the greatest general exercises that both sexes can do is running. Find a tranquil environment (I have an exquisite expanse of woodland area near me where I run) and schedule a run a few times a week… I’m pretty sure you will find it both invigorating and therapeutic. Force this routine at first if you have to!
9) Offer value at every possible opportunity:
If ever you see an opportunity to unashamedly compliment someone, whether it’s your mother, your best friend, or a random woman struggling with three kids at a bus-stop; do it! It costs you nothing and you will quite probably MAKE that person’s day. I also guarantee you will feel great yourself. I have actually devised a ‘complimenting challenge’ that I will reveal soon, which got me doing this act of unashamedly dishing out deserving compliments to everyone I can, and hopefully it’s doing its small part in making the world we live in a slightly more loving and peaceful one.
You don’t have to limit it to compliments either. Everyone has some unique knowledge or gift that they can share with as many people as possible, or if you can’t think of anything that specific right now, simply being there for someone who requires some emotional or physical support offers more value than most would recognise.
10) Get out of the house and talk to some people:
This last one sounds simple and it really is. If you’re feeling down and just fancy wallowing in self-pity at home one night, take charge and get out the house! People used to think I was crazy that if I had no other plans on a particular night I would simply go to a bar on my own. The fact was that those were the nights where I would be forced to talk to the most people and I can recall making some amazing friends this way, before coming home feeling so proud of myself. Compare that to a contemplative and depressing evening at home on my own and I think you can see which one is generally more appealing! Obviously as a dating coach I have a wealth of in-depth methods for approaching strangers, making great friends and getting attraction from the people you meet, so I will dedicate a comprehensive post of its own for those tips. For now though, realise that unless you become godlike at online dating (and are willing to spend over the odds time and effort going down that route), you aren’t going to meet the partner of your dreams sitting at home.
That brings us to the end of my list of ten things you can do right now to improve your love-life. If you implement a number of these ideas that you feel you could improve on, coupled with a positive self-image, you will be meeting the people you desire in no time!
Much love,
Sam
Email this post
Related posts:
Hey Sam! Nice post! I would quite like to know the method you use of remembering people’s names! I teach swimming and english and sadly I am awful at names and need loads of help on this haha! Cheers any help would be appreciated!
Hey James, how’s it going?
There are a number of techniques for remembering names more easily but the most practical, simple and immediate techniques revolve around concentration and focus. Our brains are very good at filtering out short-term memory tuples (geeky database term there) if there is something more important to focus on. Breaking it down, if you really focus when someone is introducing themselves and repeat their name to yourself, it should work in the short-term. Taking that further, actually repeating the name back to them verbally in your next few sentences works wonders in making a name ‘sticky’ (for example, “thanks John”, or “nice to meet you John”). There has been research in the marketing world that claims it takes repeating a name/brand/slogan six times for our brains to really absorb it.
On a more advanced level (such as when trying to remember a significant number of names in one go), visualisations and name mnemonics is what all the top memory experts use. It’s not something you’ll be able to train yourself to do overnight but if you start by assigning visual images and pictures to names, it greatly increases your ability to remember it. A crude example could be if you have a student called Peter then you could visualise him wearing a Peter Pan costume.
If you want some more in-depth or scientific explanations and techniques then let me know and I’ll point you in the right direction.
Thanks for checking out these posts,
Sam