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Dealing with your girlfriend getting hit on

One of the biggest hurdles to overcome when dating an attractive woman is accepting that other people will find her attractive and as a consequence, will try and hit on her.

I had it especially hard as my girlfriend was a freshman at University when our relationship first started becoming serious. This is a place where there are obviously a lot of sexually-charged, inebriated guys who don’t all necessarily have the best morals yet when it comes to dating. When I visited my girlfriend during this time, I would come up against a lot of situations where she was getting hit on and found several ways to effectively deal with it, both emotionally and in practice… 🙂

Take pride that she is attractive to other people:

Think honestly if you would rather date someone who no one ever showed any interest in, or someone who everyone wishes they were with? It is a massive COMPLIMENT to you if someone hits on your girlfriend. 🙂

As I’ve stated before, flirting within certain boundaries is harmless and it actually invigorates a woman to know she is still desirable to men, so let her have this non-judgemental validation. I remember talking to one of my older brother’s female friends a while back (they are around the thirty year old mark) and she said her biggest fear was to no longer have guys show interest in her as it would be a sign that she is becoming old and unattractive. Embrace the fact that your girlfriend is attractive and be proud to show her off to the world, knowing ultimately that she is with YOU! 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Book review: Alec Greven – How to Talk to Girls

My wonderful Mother, knowing what I do for a living, recently decided to surprise me by buying me a book that has been getting a lot of media attention lately: ‘How to Talk to Girls’ by Alec Greven. The talking point being that this so called ‘Dating Guru’ is a nine year old boy from America! 🙂

How to Talk to Girls by Alec Greven

'How to Talk to Girls' by Alec Greven

[Continue reading this post…]

Why porn is bad and evil

With the advent of the internet, pornography has become a much more significant pastime in modern society and although it is still not completely accepted by older generations, its dominance as an industry is at an all time high.

I think my first introduction to porn was when my older sister’s male friend sneakily bought me and my mate a ‘naughty magazine’ as a treat when we were fourteen and I am not ashamed to admit that I have viewed a fair amount of the stuff over my youth. 🙂 This is equally true for a large proportion of males, although not so many females it seems. As a result of studying a wealth of sexual practices and techniques as well as developing my own sexuality, I have come to notice a lot of detrimental factors that come with watching too much porn… 🙂

Me next to a giant sign outside a club in Munich

Me next to a giant sign outside a club in Munich

[Continue reading this post…]

How to get through bad patches in a relationship

I actually disagree that there is such a thing as a ‘bad patch’ in a relationship. Every relationship is made up of individual moments, which are guided by how each person in the relationship is feeling at each particular moment. However, a lot of couples refer to a consistent spell of negative emotions in their relationship as a ‘bad patch’. There are several ways to become more conscious about these situations and ultimately decide how best to rectify them… 🙂

The main cause of bad emotions in a relationship:

The main catalyst for bad emotions in a relationship and what constitutes for 99% of those emotions is a feeling of inadequate validation from your partner, or to put it another way, not feeling loved enough!

Think back to all the times you have felt even the slightest bit of resentment towards your partner and I imagine you can make this theory fit. Even seemingly trivial acts in a relationship can contribute towards this. Something inconsequential such as your partner not showing enough interest in something you’ve achieved, or your partner not taking the time to understand your point of view can incite these initial feelings of undetected resentment. Often even a justifiable reason, such as being overwhelmed or busy, cannot counteract the feeling. [Continue reading this post…]

Text message flirting guidelines

A common request that I get is for help and guidance on texting a new potential suitor. Usually I receive this request from guys, as girls will more readily ask their friends for advice, but occasionally I get this request from a girl. Sometimes I flat-out get asked to write a text from scratch for someone, although I will explain why this wouldn’t really benefit you shortly.

Due to this demand, I have decided to compile a list of general guidelines for texting someone you have recently met and acquired the phone number of. These guidelines are most relevant for the beginning stages of dating. After knowing someone for a while and getting past the initial pressure of texting someone new, you won’t have to worry about these concepts, although they are still useful to keep in mind when texting in a relationship… 🙂

First thoughts are usually the best:

Have you ever sat there staring at your phone, agonising over what to write, modifying your drafts hundreds of times, asking around your close friends for creative input and then agonising some more before finally sending something similar to what you had in the first place? More often than not, what you immediately think of when creating or replying to a text message is the best. Over-analysis is the killer of creative flow! [Continue reading this post…]

The ONLY way to prevent your partner cheating

Being cheated on, or the FEAR of being cheated on is one of the primary crutches in a relationship, and ultimately destroys a number of them. I personally have never cheated on a girlfriend and to the best of my knowledge, have never been cheated on either… but that’s not to say that the irrational fear of someday being cheated on occasionally crops up with me too.

First I am going to list a couple of instinctual techniques that both men and women frequently use as clear tactics to settle these fears of cheating. I will explain why each one is not the best course of action and then reveal to you the ONLY way you can prevent your partner cheating on you… 🙂

First, what to try and avoid doing…

Keeping tabs on your partner:

This is a really common one. I remember a few years back when I was out with some old friends for a ‘lad’s night out’. Obviously, any girlfriends were politely not invited 🙂 and all was set for an epic, fun night in our favourite nightspots. One of my friends (who I shall call John for the sake of privacy) was a confident and intelligent guy, who had acquired himself a seemingly lovely girlfriend and they were now in their first year of living together. [Continue reading this post…]

The perfect first date

What does tradition tell us is the best first date: Dinner, the cinema, or perhaps turning up with flowers and then doing whatever the lady wants to do (the man will be paying of course)? All three of these are TERRIBLE ideas! Let me deal with them separately…

Don’t go for dinner:

These kind of dates used to be my worst nightmare; what a pressurised situation! You’re sitting opposite each other and the whole focus is on the conversation the two of you must have. You’re sitting in the same spot for up to two hours, so once the limited chat about the surrounding decor has worn off, you really have to be on your conversational best to keep the interaction interesting. Not to mention that sitting opposite each other restricts almost completely any touch or physical escalation that should be happening between the two of you to progress the relationship to that of a sexual one.

Getting takeaway food or grabbing a bite to eat if you’re both hungry is fine but setting up a formal ‘dinner date’ is boring, unoriginal and pressurised… You’re likely to get a high percentage of women turning this sort of date down at first because of this. [Continue reading this post…]

Steps for finding the perfect partner

Does the perfect partner exist? Yes. Will you ever find them? Unlikely. I do believe however, that with a degree of constructive searching, you can find someone who is VERY close to that elusive perfect partner. Here are some ways that you can skew the odds in your favour of finding that perfect match…

Know exactly what you are looking for:

Often people jump into relationships far too easily. Time and time again I hear from friends of mine (for some reason this comes more from my female friends) that they really want to be in a relationship… and then the next minute, at the first opportunity, they’re actually in one. Knowing you want a relationship is not enough if you actually want to find someone who really fulfils all your criteria for a suitable partner. Rarely do people really sit down and think about what they want in a partner, expecting their dreams to be satisfied through blind faith alone. [Continue reading this post…]

Starting a relationship in the best possible way

One of the main reasons why relationships fail in the short term is because they never really got started in a way that represented the relationship as something long-lasting. A lot of relationships decline as they can’t sustain, or they deviate away from the core foundations that they were built on. Starting a relationship in the best possible way is key to making it a lasting and fulfilling relationship, as well as knowing pretty early on if it really is the right relationship for you…

A SUPERB metaphor for relationships:

As a general rule of thumb and from my own personal experience of relationships, whatever you set in place for the relationship in the beginning will remain in place in the long term. What a lot of guys will do is be the nice, doting boyfriend early on, who will do whatever his new girlfriend wants and generally try to impress her as much as he can. Then, once he feels secure enough in the relationship, he will start to slack off and take a more dominant stance. He will then wonder why this does not get the same reactions he is used to. [Continue reading this post…]

Dispelling male myths about dating – part 2

This is the second part in the series ‘Dispelling male myths about dating’. The first part can be found HERE. 🙂

“Just be yourself”:

This is the killer, usually given by women who have got to know you, bypassed all the crummy social conditioning and realised that you are a nice guy underneath (but not one that they would sleep with). Else it is given by guys who had useful male role-models when they were developing (a confident father for example) and have always been confident and good with women (they haven’t actually broken down what it is exactly that gets them the girls though). If just ‘being yourself’ has not worked in the past, what makes you think that it would work now? My advice to this is obviously not to try and be someone you’re not and hide your core values and personality (although modelling the people you admire works wonders in the short term), but to practice becoming the person you WANT to be and then be that new self, your BEST self, one that has all the limiting beliefs and negative thoughts stripped away. 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]