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What I’ve learnt in 10 years as a dating and relationship coach

Three weeks earlier I had moved into a cushy, little flat for my first year of university. In the adjoining bedrooms were five comely females. Six more resided in the flat above and another six in the flat below. Yet here I was, hunched over my keyboard in a dimly lit room, frustrated to breaking point that despite my self-confessed fun and stimulating personality, I couldn’t attract this potential harem, let alone any other women at the university.

That evening back in October 2003 marked the beginning of an epic journey of research, discovery and perseverance. One of the first resources I found on that initial research session was a dating product called Double Your Dating, written by a now acquaintance of mine. Along with discovering other people on the internet with similar frustrations, it opened my eyes to the possibility of change. What followed were years of fervent practice, verging on an obsession. I was determined to learn without compromise how to master topics such as female psychology, social dynamics, attraction, seduction and relationships.

It was approximately three years before I was properly teaching others the intricacies of what I now call proactive dating and fulfilling relationships, but I still credit that lonely evening ten years ago as my starting point.

Here are some of the most important lessons I have learnt in ten years as a dating and relationship coach… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Setting boundaries in a relationship

If I had to break down all relationship issues to one single factor, it would be boundaries being disregarded. From trivial arguments to gross acts of unfaithfulness, it is the absence of clearly understood boundaries that is to blame.

Boundaries in the context of a relationship refer to the points at which acceptable behaviour crosses over into unacceptable behaviour. These points can and should be different for every relationship, based on the individuals involved. One thing that does not differ though is a positive correlation between boundaries being respected and how mutually fulfilling a relationship is.

There are different types of boundaries in a relationship; some are a lot more mutually beneficial than others. This article will describe those different types and discuss how to ensure that the boundaries in your relationship are always respected… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

The power of using nicknames

When it comes to dating and relationships, nicknames are a severely underrated and underused idea. Coming up with fitting nicknames is not going to make or break any relationships, but it can definitely help in creating a deeper sense of familiarity and connection.

Sometimes a nickname will spontaneously arise. If not, most people default to calling their partners and romantic interests by their actual name, or with something generic and unimaginative such as “babe”.

There is nothing inherently wrong with the above, but by using a generic name you neglect an easy opportunity to create a special connection and set yourself apart from everyone else in that person’s life!

A relationship develops over time, through several specific stages. As such, any nicknames you use will probably go through a similar evolution; the nickname changes and evolves as the relationship progresses.

Below are three stages in the evolution of the perfect nickname or pet name. They show how a nickname should change and evolve to mirror the commitment level and feelings in a relationship… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

There is no such thing as the perfect partner… or is there?

At the start of every dating seminar I speak at, I ask the attendees what their ultimate goal is with regards to dating and relationships.

By far the most common answer is to end up with “the one”… that one special person that matches all of their core values and surpasses everything else they look for in a romantic partner.

Whilst this is a lovely ideal in theory, how do you know when you have definitely found the right person? If you journey through relationships sequentially like the majority of people do, how do you know that there isn’t someone better suited to you out there each time?

This article will discuss whether there is indeed one special person for everyone, as well as provide some food for thought on how to know exactly what you are looking for in the world of love… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

How to approach and meet a celebrity – The night I met Emma Watson

The following encounter happened some time ago now but it is one that is repeatedly requested that I retell. Previously, the only real life interaction I have written about was the story of when I first met my wonderful girlfriend Heidi (which you can read HERE). That story proved to be very popular so I thought I would share another true story that also has a unique angle and some interesting lessons to pick up on.

Read on for the story of how I approached and chatted to a rather famous celebrity, and how it went from miraculously well to unsalvageable in one swift swoop… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Moving in together – Tips for living with your girlfriend or boyfriend

There are several stages in a relationship where the commitment level is stepped up a notch and a melee of new tests arise… moving in with your partner is one of those.

Heidi and I have been living together for quite a while now and although we are still just as happy in our relationship as we have always been, there are several new lessons we have learnt from being in each other’s company all the time.

This article will discuss some of those insights and share some tips about how to adapt your relationship accordingly once you are living together.

Please feel free to share your experiences, thoughts and insights in the comments section once you have finished reading and I will respond as soon as possible… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

How to be less shy, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert

Being shy is not something to be embarrassed about. It also does not have to be something that dictates your social life, your dating skills or your relationships.

People often confuse shyness with having an introvert personality and some even think that overcoming either of these is an insurmountable challenge. This is not the case.

This article will explain how shyness isn’t necessarily a bad thing and provide some tips on how to overcome it. I will relate it to my own experiences of going from notably shy and reserved in my youth, to confident and comfortable in any social scenario… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

Is your partner perfect for you? Read this and see…

It is easy to assume that your relationship will last forever. The rapturous emotions and validation one gets from sharing their affection exclusively with another often eclipses any negatives there might be. Without the direct comparison of other similarly fulfilling relationships, it is easy for a gradual decline to go unnoticed.

Whilst this article focuses on determining how well your partner compliments your deepest relationship desires, it can also be read as a self-evaluation. If you want to be with the perfect partner for you, it goes without saying that you should be the perfect partner in return! It is only once you have both of these factors in place that you have the ingredients for the perfect relationship… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

How to prevent arguments in a relationship

Learning to deal with arguments and come out the other side with minimal negativity or damage is a key aspect in the conflict solving stage of a relationship.

One step further is preventing arguments from occurring in the first place! It is an advanced skill for couples to achieve but one that ultimately leads to the most continually positive and fulfilling relationships.

This article will discuss some useful methods for preventing arguments in a relationship before they even get started… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]

10 common mistakes men make in the bedroom

It is uncommon to hear that you’re a lousy lover from someone you are in a relationship with. Sex is such a personal and intimate thing that most people would dread the repercussions and the upset of telling their other half that they could do with improving.

It may be the case that your partner simply doesn’t know any better, having only ever experienced a mediocre sex-life.

The fact is that however satisfactory your sex-life is, you can always improve, be it with new techniques, improved performance or trying new experiences.

If you are keen to enrich your sex-life then the following list will give a good basis of initial things to be aware of. Below are 10 common mistakes men make in the bedroom… 🙂 [Continue reading this post…]